I am meeting with my nutty uBPDxw to discuss my boundaries with her because she is moving in across the street. I already had one discussion with her last week about how she is hurting the boys with her actions. She sobbed and cried in typical BPD Waif like fashion. She claimed she's broke and has used up all the settlement money she got from me... .In one calendar year. Even though I don't believe anything she says I think there is truth to this as she is so irresponsible! .
What I plan on telling her is a reinforcement of my personal boundaries that are non negotiable:
*she is not welcome on my property. It may sound harsh but it is for MY sanity!
* she will not be calling our house phone at all hours to soothe herself by hearing the kids voices. She does this a lot. Doesn't ask to see them just calls to chat for a few minutes. I want to set up a daily scheduled time that the kids can call her. I think having a set scheduled time will add stability to the situation.
*If she wants to be involved with the kids lives she needs to GET INVOLVED on her own. Things like going on school website (like I do) to find out kids school activities and functions. I'm tired of having to parent her on being a parent.
*Her family. she has painted all of them black even her sweet mother. I have her family up frequently to see their grand kids. She hasn't seen or talked to her family in over a year. All,her lies have caught up to her and she is hiding from them. Not my problem but I will keeps,her family involved with our kids lives! She'll just have to keep hiding
*When kids are with her they need to be with her. I don't want to be in the situation where kids are running back and forth. My time is my time. But I already informed kids if they are uncomfortable to let me know and we will make arrangements for them to come back home. She has already agreed to this.
*I am moving (hopefully by next summer). I may have to move out of school district. I have primary PHYSICAL custody but we share legal custody. I don't want a problem from her on this one.
Please say a prayer for me at 2pm est today. I don't even want to see this woman ever again but I need to have this discussion in person so she understands the boundaries.
Thoughts appreciated!
MWC... .