falling apart today

[KrisK7]

i'm 1 week out from the break up, LC. I've been ok for a few days. Had to go by to drop off cat food for our cats and she was on the couch with her new girl. I, trying to be nice and not care, talk to her and we make a joke. She laughed like she used to with me, and we both caught ourselves smiling at eachother, eyes locked. She always looks at me with glossy eyes and i swear I can see the scared little girl in her screaming for help. All the good memories ran through my head. Us lying on that couch together. Laughing. The kisses. The promises made. She made me promise her once that I'd never give up on her, even if she tried to give up.

How do I let go? How do I not fall apart right now? I love her so much. How can she just not care anymore? How can she do it?

please help.

[willtimeheal]

I am sorry you are going through this. It's ok to fall apart and go through the grieving process. You are  letting go of someone you love. And you are human. Someone you had hopes and dreams with. It is hard to see them with someone else. Especially when they seem so happy and content. Know that this is just a cover. Deep down they are a scared child holding on to whatever they can. She is not happy. She doesn't know how to be happy. Her happiness is a mirror of the person she is with. She has no idea what it feels like to be happy.

My BPDgf when she left me last summer, she left me for a guy and they were going to move in together get married and life was going to be "normal" and so so good.  She left him after a month. During the month they were  together she would text.me and tell me she loved me and wanted me. After she left him she ran away again and married one dude she had just met. Had a huge smile on her face for show but was the most miserable depressed person. She divorced him.

So even though she seems happy she is not. Take this time to work on you. I got a therapist and worked on my self esteem and my fears.

[Harri]

Kris, I am sorry you are hurting so much right now.  Remember though, you will get through this.  You asked how to let go and then you answered the question with your very next question:   you let go by allowing yourself to fall apart.

Try not to focus on the promise you made.  It was an impossible promise to keep and it is one that is totally unfair to you.

Take good care of you.