Is this wrong?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Ive become more confident and WAY more happy last few days and i noticed my ex doesn't cross my mind that often anymore. As some of you may know, we work together in the same department. What i've noticed is that now that i'm happier she becomes quiet/looks depressed/sad.

The thing is, seeing her depressed makes me feel good. Is this wrong to feel this way or what? And could her being depressed be a reaction to my sudden happiness?

[Bak86]

Ive become more confident and WAY more happy last few days and i noticed my ex doesn't cross my mind that often anymore. As some of you may know, we work together in the same department. What i've noticed is that now that i'm happier she becomes quiet/looks depressed/sad.

The thing is, seeing her depressed makes me feel good. Is this wrong to feel this way or what? And could her being depressed be a reaction to my sudden happiness?

[woofhound]

I believe her sadness could very well be a reaction to your confidence and happiness. I have noticed this in my ex during past break ups. I think you being happy when you see her sad may not be about her so much as it might be about you feeling validated.

[camuse]

Mine was always happiest when I was sad, and sad when I was happy. What sort of relationship is that? She even admitted it after we split up - she said "I know that's terrible."

I don't think your feelings are wrong or unusual right now, but ultimately you want to not care either way.

[NorthLight]

Ive become more confident and WAY more happy last few days and i noticed my ex doesn't cross my mind that often anymore. As some of you may know, we work together in the same department.

Good for you man :D That must be a great feeling? Has something changed in your life (a new girl etc?)

And could her being depressed be a reaction to my sudden happiness?

Yes, could be! It is a lot of people here with stories about this topic... Take my story for a month ago as an example (she got sad and depressed when i stayed NC and looked strong, and turned happy when I broke down) https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=229694.0

What i've noticed is that now that i'm happier she becomes quiet/looks depressed/sad.

The thing is, seeing her depressed makes me feel good. Is this wrong to feel this way or what?



Don't start to feel guilty that you can finally smile again mate. You must be in focus, if you feel good then that is great (no matter what makes you feel good). You are not being mean to her,, so don't take away your joy of smiling again! If you had said that it felt good to steal her phone, damage her car etc (you get the point) then I would say its wrong, but this isn't wrong. Just enjoy finally feeling better.

[Bak86]

Ive become more confident and WAY more happy last few days and i noticed my ex doesn't cross my mind that often anymore. As some of you may know, we work together in the same department.

Good for you man :D That must be a great feeling? Has something changed in your life (a new girl etc?)

And could her being depressed be a reaction to my sudden happiness?

Yes, could be! It is a lot of people here with stories about this topic... Take my story for a month ago as an example (she got sad and depressed when i stayed NC and looked strong, and turned happy when I broke down) https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=229694.0

What i've noticed is that now that i'm happier she becomes quiet/looks depressed/sad.

The thing is, seeing her depressed makes me feel good. Is this wrong to feel this way or what?



Don't start to feel guilty that you can finally smile again mate. You must be in focus, if you feel good then that is great (no matter what makes you feel good). You are not being mean to her,, so don't take away your joy of smiling again! If you had said that it felt good to steal her phone, damage her car etc (you get the point) then I would say its wrong, but this isn't wrong. Just enjoy finally feeling better.

Nope not a new girl at the moment. I'm only focussing on myself right now.(hobbies, starting a company, friends, chores around the house etc.) but it makes me feel really good. 

And your story makes me a bit sad haha