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Author Topic: Taking steps to leave BPD partner of 20 years  (Read 479 times)
Lava kintsugi

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Married for 20 years and have a girlfriend of 3 years
Posts: 12


« on: August 24, 2014, 03:58:34 PM »

Hi. I have been married for 20 years. We both have issues. I've been diligently working on my own for years now and finally discovered I deserve to not be a verbal and emotional punching bag.

I have support and resources on a personal level. I know nobody, other than my therapist, who understands BPD and the difficulty of leaving a partner who is not purposefully abusive.
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Recooperating
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up
Posts: 362



« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2014, 05:21:26 PM »

Hi Lava,

Indeed you do not deserve to be treated like that!

I wish you strength and good luck with your break up/divorce!

Good for you!

I have found this board to be a life saver! I have learnt so much here and found people that offer support, advice and lots of compassion! Tell us your story, vent, ask questions! We all know how hard it is!

Take good care of yourself!
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Lava kintsugi

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Married for 20 years and have a girlfriend of 3 years
Posts: 12


« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2014, 05:30:29 PM »

I will certainly be sharing my story and seeking support and advice. My decision has been made for two weeks and I am aware to he next six are going to be hell on earth. I am very thankful to have found this site after all the time I've been looking.
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Hopeless777
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 272



« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2014, 09:17:47 PM »

I was married for 27+ years, two kids, one grandchild: now 92 days separated, 50 days NC. I've built an entire army support system: psychiatrist, therapist, family, group therapy, journaling, etc. be prepared as best as possible. This site is but one tool ( a very important one at that.) prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Know we are all here for each other.
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But God does not just sweep life away; instead, He devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from Him. 2 Samuel 14:14(b) NLT
Lava kintsugi

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Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Married for 20 years and have a girlfriend of 3 years
Posts: 12


« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2014, 10:10:28 PM »

Thank you for sharing with me. It is comforting to read of another who has also been strong and is working toward peace.
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Hopeless777
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 272



« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2014, 10:26:03 PM »

Thank you for sharing with me. It is comforting to read of another who has also been strong and is working toward peace.

Every day is a new gift. We have to make the best of it, every second. I am heartbroken and sometimes strong, often weak. BPD is as gruel as the grave, probably more so. The dead can't continue their destruction like a pwBPD. Keep yourself safe and supported and know you have a place here.
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But God does not just sweep life away; instead, He devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from Him. 2 Samuel 14:14(b) NLT
Tibbles
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 231


« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2014, 04:56:30 AM »

Hi and welcome Lava Kintsugi. I was with my ex for 30 yrs and have found it a hard struggle to break free, but worth it. I love this site and read it often, it brings me to tears often but that's not a bad thing and it gives me hope and I feel encouraged reading other peoples stories. Good luck on your journey, you are not alone x x x
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