I can't shake this reaction

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I know we are all supposed to be kind and supportive of pwBPD, remembering that they have a mental illness. We are aupposed to remember we married then and committed vows for better or worse.

But how do shake the feeling that your fine is just an angry, depressed person how lashes out and blames you for everything. How do you not fine yourself thinking "you are just. Terrible person"... .?

I'm sick of being called an "abuser" because I get non-violently, reasonably anger when she says horrible things to me. I'm sick of never, ever hearing that in a relationship, rarely is the case only one person is solely at fault (me). 

I'm sick of hating my wife for how she treats me and how bad a person I have let myself become around her. I never used to have this level of anxiety. I never used to have near daily migraines. I never used to be flat out depressed.

I hate hating my wife for who she can't help but being. And I hate being the fool that can't seem to step up and detach because she has made me believe that I am, in fact, to blame for her life turning to crap.

I just hate this relationship.

[coasterhusband]

I know we are all supposed to be kind and supportive of pwBPD, remembering that they have a mental illness. We are aupposed to remember we married then and committed vows for better or worse.

But how do shake the feeling that your fine is just an angry, depressed person how lashes out and blames you for everything. How do you not fine yourself thinking "you are just. Terrible person"... .?

I'm sick of being called an "abuser" because I get non-violently, reasonably anger when she says horrible things to me. I'm sick of never, ever hearing that in a relationship, rarely is the case only one person is solely at fault (me). 

I'm sick of hating my wife for how she treats me and how bad a person I have let myself become around her. I never used to have this level of anxiety. I never used to have near daily migraines. I never used to be flat out depressed.

I hate hating my wife for who she can't help but being. And I hate being the fool that can't seem to step up and detach because she has made me believe that I am, in fact, to blame for her life turning to crap.

I just hate this relationship.

[Henry II]

I hear you loud and clear. I feel the same way in my M. It will never end and is too much work if the feelings of love have left. If I ever get out I will need T'py...