What are the steps/fastest ways to clear the memorabilia of us in better times?

[Depression = 72% of members]

I am posting on the leaving board because I am feeling that this is the direction my relationship is going. I already started deleting our emails to one another, videos to one another when we lived long distance. Of course I have pictures that I need to deal with too. Other memorabilia like cute things we bought together. XMAS ornaments.

How have you all dealt with these things? Stories please!

It is going to be bad enough dealing with the memories in my own head let alone the tangible reminders.

Luckily its my home and 99% are my things, dishes, etc. A few things will be hanging around. Enough to make me break down at every sighting.

My whole life revolved around her for the last 3 years. Everything reminds me of her to be quite honest.

Please help.

[michel71]

I am posting on the leaving board because I am feeling that this is the direction my relationship is going. I already started deleting our emails to one another, videos to one another when we lived long distance. Of course I have pictures that I need to deal with too. Other memorabilia like cute things we bought together. XMAS ornaments.

How have you all dealt with these things? Stories please!

It is going to be bad enough dealing with the memories in my own head let alone the tangible reminders.

Luckily its my home and 99% are my things, dishes, etc. A few things will be hanging around. Enough to make me break down at every sighting.

My whole life revolved around her for the last 3 years. Everything reminds me of her to be quite honest.

Please help.

[Popcorn71]

I packed it all in a box and left it on his doorstep. I have no idea what he did with it.

Some people say that burning stuff helps and can be therapeutic.

[drummerboy]

I took anything of value to a charity shop after telling her I could drop it off, got no reply. I trashed everything else, deleted all of her emails/texts. I still have digital pics which I am loathe to delete but one day I probably will.

[Skip]

Destroying it or removing it from your life is traumatic in its own sense... .handling each item, thinking what to do with it, mourning its passing, stressing over what to so with some things... .

My suggestion is to get a couple of boxes, pack anything that may be triggering (even if its yours)  and put it in the attic to deal with later.  

I went through things 4-5 years later - brought some back out - re-homed some things.  

Deal with it later.

[Recooperating]

I deleted all the texts and emails, but one... .The one with the anger outburst that made me leave... .I figured when I get tempted to recycle I need to read that.

I didnt delete our pictures, i put them in a dropbox so I dont see em all the time, but I still have em.

My worry is picking up my weddingdress from the seamstress and then what do I do with it...   we were about to marry in september... .Ouch... .

[Skip]

My worry is picking up my wedding dress from the seamstress and then what do I do with it...  we were about to marry in September... .Ouch... .

Big ouch.  

[elessar]

Borderlines are like children. When they love you, they love you with all their being. Sure, children's love is different and varies by mood, but there is a purity to it. As torturous my relationship was, I have kept all her little gifts. They are my memories to a seemingly happy time. All these memories are locked up in a box in a closet. All photos are stored in a folder I do not touch. But these are my memories of my first love and my seemingly best friend since childhood. Life sucks that she grew up to be a borderline, but I hate to discard memories because I feel when we are old we look back upon them. I will the girl I knew in school and college, not the one I knew last few years. And I will associate the gifts with that simple innocent girl, not this crazy woman.

[goldylamont]

Anything that was hers I packed up and left on her doorstep after she kept flaking on being home when I wanted to drop them off. I think she just wanted to try and punish me or something by flaking repeatedly and making the process frustrating. I didn't really have much else though. I untagged or deleted any pictures online as I didn't want to be associated. Felt good to do, made me feel stronger. I remember a couple months out I saw some dried flowers she had left in a little vase on one of my window sills--promptly tossed them out onto the street, was nice to kind of trash them and treat anything from her era how she trashed the r/s. I still have some pics in a box somewhere though, I never looked at them so since they weren't problematic for me I didn't feel the need to destroy. I planned on doing a little mini burning of stuff but never got around to it and then the need to do so just wore off. I did however do some mental exercises where I would picture certain things that represented 'us', a picture in particular when we were happy. I burned the isht out of that photo in my mind and stomped and spit on it then burned it some more. It was really helpful to do this and I worked with this image multiple times. I really do feel like it was healthy and gave me some power back. Also, on another thread a while back there were several people who actually did say they burned or destroyed things that reminded them of their ex and from what I can recall they all said it was a positive experience and that they would recommend it to others so inclined. maybe someone here can attest?

[Ventus2ct]

All e-mails, pictures, texts etc deleted, everything all gone. It was therapeutic to do and also stops you reading them all down the line. This at the time was what was needed to be done for me although 4 months out I wish I still had them to read through and see how awful she was but fear it'd only stir up emotions again.

Presents, not that there were many were all burnt, clothes and anything she left in the house, all burnt. It was liberating. Even after a thorough Spring Clean you will still find remnants of your ex in your house. Hair bands, hair, bits and bobs. These kept appearing and kept being thrown away.

It is the only way to deal with it, be ruthless because you will be tempted to look at pictures, texts, e-mails while going through "cold Turkey".

I do however have a semi mutual friend who has pictures of "us" together on her FB, nothing I can do about that but if I wish to be triggered I look at them, so far in 2 months I have done so just twice. But I am aware that they are there and maybe in the future when I feel happy within myself I can look at them in a different light. It was my birthday and we had a fantastic time so we were both very happy.

But for now I don't peek!

Good luck, this worked for me but as above does not work for everyone.