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Author Topic: Addiction specifically looking at your ex BPD FB page or any social Media  (Read 5291 times)
AG
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« on: August 26, 2014, 09:10:44 PM »

Ok so I decided to start this tread because I realized I was not alone with my new found addiction that I had a discussion with a friend about the other day. Let me get this clear and out in the open I do not even have an Facebook account. I outgrew facebook years ago and deleted my page probably when I was about 28 and now I'm 33. With that being said it makes it even worse for me to look at my ex BPD facebook page being that I don't even have a real reason to do so other then be curious. Since site is supposed to be self reflective let's call it what it is. It is cyber stalking on my behalf. Also what makes it ten times worse is my ex knows I do it. The reason she knows is because during one of our recycles I obviously didn't trust her and for good reason and saw something on there that made me confront her. At that point in time she then put her page on private and of course denied my accusation. It also is obvious she knew I would look afterwards because she has done things on there for me to see. Some trying to lure me back in like "Give out what you want most to come back" or the opposite of that "Just because I cut people out of my life doesn't mean I hate them it simply means I respect myself. Other times shell post a picture of her looking sad or something like that and then the page will come off of private almost like saying AG come rescue me again. Other times it's victim mode stuff or just jibborish that I cannot decipher.


Ok so here is the straw that broke the camels back for me recently and I really hope it did. I went to go do my little stupid routine that I do every so often and took a peak over the weekend to find out my ex is coming to NY for the Salsa congress coming up. She will be in NY tomorrow to be exact. I have had anxiety all damn weekend because of this due to the fact that she has been known to show up at my house randomly for her recycle garbage. I spoke with my friend about this and she told me very firm that enough is enough and that I need to stop this to truly get rid of her and that I am still inserting her into my head and making it worse for myself. After a long discussion I haven't looked at it for 4 days total. However now this information is in my head and I feel so many different thoughts running around. I wish she would stay her ass in Jersey is one and also I wish I didn't look at that last piece of information and just stopped that ish before I saw it. The chances of her driving over here after that event are highly likely. I'm hoping that I'm painted universe black and this does not happen. Or maybe shell just meet some dude over there and just leave me the F alone.

Anyhow this is exactly why I think we really should not look at they're social media at all. It prolongs the detachment and healing. Anyone else have any stories or feelings on the social media thing? Good stories bad stories. Karmatic stories. Whatever. Maybe If I just talk about it I can get some of it out of my system or something. Oh I'm also wondering if the sudden anxiety is from not looking at it or from the NY visit info or both?
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« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2014, 09:25:14 PM »

I completely blocked my ex wife on FB and only had contact through emails. It made the detachment easier as I didn't know what she was getting up to.

With my exgf I do FB stalk though. This isn't some form of I miss her and want her back. Im not staring at her page longingly. What I use it for is to predict what she will do next.

I also use it to try and get a better idea of how she thinks.

I have been able to successfully predict when she will contact me and have been able to prepare myself. I have also been able to gauge what mood she is in so any communication has been timed for when I feel she will be more receptive. I have also used it to try things out on her i.e. I got her to trigger and then managed to validate her feelings and calm her down.

I am able to do this without it affecting me (much) because this is my second BPD break up and I understand the condition a lot more than I did before. I am also adamant that we will not be getting back together.

I would not recommend this though if its the first time breaking up from a BPD relationship or if you are wanting them to take you back.
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AG
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« Reply #2 on: August 26, 2014, 09:49:58 PM »

I completely blocked my ex wife on FB and only had contact through emails. It made the detachment easier as I didn't know what she was getting up to.

With my exgf I do FB stalk though. This isn't some form of I miss her and want her back. Im not staring at her page longingly. What I use it for is to predict what she will do next.

I also use it to try and get a better idea of how she thinks.

I have been able to successfully predict when she will contact me and have been able to prepare myself. I have also been able to gauge what mood she is in so any communication has been timed for when I feel she will be more receptive. I have also used it to try things out on her i.e. I got her to trigger and then managed to validate her feelings and calm her down.

I am able to do this without it affecting me (much) because this is my second BPD break up and I understand the condition a lot more than I did before. I am also adamant that we will not be getting back together.

I would not recommend this though if its the first time breaking up from a BPD relationship or if you are wanting them to take you back.

This is my first dance on the crazy train. I never knew these people existed before I knew my ex and still am in aw that they do exist.

I would like to let her have it to be honest. There is so much anger inside of me. That is another reason why I would prefer her ass stay in Jersey. I wanted closure before this but that thought is gone since I tried that a couple weeks back only for her to explode on me after a half ass apology. She actually got pissed after she apologized. I have hate in my heart honestly. Maybe buried under all that there is some love left or care but it is kinda hard to see it at this point. I can see vengeful thoughts but not getting back together thoughts.
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« Reply #3 on: August 26, 2014, 10:04:42 PM »

Weve all had the revenge thoughts. The massive outings of her in public to let the world know who and what they are.

These thoughts are good as a healing tool but in reality they are a bad thing to do.

Firstly they will probably backfire and make you look like the crazy one.

Secondly your better than that.

What you will come to realise is that a BPD is suffering constantly. The things they do and how they treat people are survival tools to get them through each day. Imagine having to live a life where you never have and never will truly know love. Where fear and emptiness rule your day.

When you have healed you will be able to have compassion for them.

I have had two BPD relationships. I have been lied to, cheated on, physically and verbally abused, driven to the point of madness and almost made bankrupt twice. If I can find compassion then Im sure you will to one day.

You have to realise that they have child like emotions. Their emotions have not been allowed to mature and develop like ours. Taking revenge on a BPD would be like taking revenge on a child. A child doesn't realise the hurt they cause and doesn't do it on purpose.
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« Reply #4 on: August 26, 2014, 10:12:46 PM »

I'm stalking her IG thru a fake name. I have no photos under the alais, just sign on to see her photos and comments. She now has 500+ adoring followers. She posts her ever so dark photos and connects so soulfully with each person. She follows no one, they all follow her, and her gallery is not private, so I look. I had to use a fake name because she blocked me. Anyway, after almost two months if NC, I am starting to get bored. I was missing her today, but it will pass. I just feel so damn bad being shut out. Keep beating myself up. Am working with a therapist on this. Oh well. This is what happens when there is no closure, I guess. We cyber stalk to try and figure out What the heck happened? It is helping me see the picture more clearly. She simply didn't need me anymore, and when I made fun of some of her Portladia-type comments, that's when I got blocked. She's "so deeply touched" and so busy being ethereal and mystic. What a waif. Oh wait. That's what I was attracted to in the first place. Silly me.
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« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2014, 10:21:16 PM »

Weve all had the revenge thoughts. The massive outings of her in public to let the world know who and what they are.

These thoughts are good as a healing tool but in reality they are a bad thing to do.

Firstly they will probably backfire and make you look like the crazy one.

Secondly your better than that.

What you will come to realise is that a BPD is suffering constantly. The things they do and how they treat people are survival tools to get them through each day. Imagine having to live a life where you never have and never will truly know love. Where fear and emptiness rule your day.

When you have healed you will be able to have compassion for them.

I have had two BPD relationships. I have been lied to, cheated on, physically and verbally abused, driven to the point of madness and almost made bankrupt twice. If I can find compassion then Im sure you will to one day.

You have to realise that they have child like emotions. Their emotions have not been allowed to mature and develop like ours. Taking revenge on a BPD would be like taking revenge on a child. A child doesn't realise the hurt they cause and doesn't do it on purpose.

Thank you for this brother. I disagree with the part of not doing things on purpose. There is definite proven intent there. I have seen calculated movements and also she or they are simply not children they are adults and have lived in social situations long enough to know when something is wrong. As a matter of fact they themselves do not want any of that stuff done to them. I give them no free pass. I am definitely not saying they have it easy at all. Not at all. I get it they are in pain. They will not find love because of the same energy they output aka Karma. What does resonate with me and I mean alot in what you said is "I am better then that". Your are completely right about that for sure. I still need to hold myself to a standard regardless of whats inside of me even or I'd be the same as her making excuses for bad behaviour. Thanks for your examples of trauma too that part inspires me as well you did get through more then me and that part gives me hope. Matter of fact my ex's boyfriend before me always has given me hope. He went through worse also. She F***** this guys best friend for christ sakes. That particular ex was with her longer then me so I can only imagine. He is happily married now to someone much better then my ex. I took a peak at his FB before too being nosey and I dated back when they had broken up and his quotes signified the turmoil he endured for one whole year longer then I did. He was even gaslighted into going to anger management something she obviously should have been going to herself. Though we do not agree on the lack of intent part I thank you for your words bro it does help.
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« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2014, 10:34:09 PM »

I'm stalking her IG thru a fake name. I have no photos under the alais, just sign on to see her photos and comments. She now has 500+ adoring followers. She posts her ever so dark photos and connects so soulfully with each person. She follows no one, they all follow her, and her gallery is not private, so I look. I had to use a fake name because she blocked me. Anyway, after almost two months if NC, I am starting to get bored. I was missing her today, but it will pass. I just feel so damn bad being shut out. Keep beating myself up. Am working with a therapist on this. Oh well. This is what happens when there is no closure, I guess. We cyber stalk to try and figure out What the heck happened? It is helping me see the picture more clearly. She simply didn't need me anymore, and when I made fun of some of her Portladia-type comments, that's when I got blocked. She's "so deeply touched" and so busy being ethereal and mystic. What a waif. Oh wait. That's what I was attracted to in the first place. Silly me.

Man how do you think I look at her FB throughly. Fake page also. I set it for deletion 4 days ago. I used to look at her likes comments and all of that stuff. The fun part and I do mean that in a sarcastic tone is when she takes it off private fully for me to see the wall. Those times are the ones that she is desperate for me to contact her or get a reaction from her. All of this mysticism type spiritual knowledge that I was heavy into she has stolen that part of my personality as well. She goes hard with it now. It literally is almost like "Look daddy I have the same spiritual belief as you now". Chakra rings and stones and crystals. Also shortly after one of our last convos I spoke of my therapist who I specifically chose because she takes a hollistic approach. Now what do you have after that convo to this date? Oh postings from a page joined called whollistic healing. She posts stuff from there all the time and likes quotes from there all the time. This was including the quote which had a heart picture in the middle with the caption "Give out what you want to most come back". Of course that was an off private one that I just had to see that she posted. I remember thinking What the heck your posting this for me to give out love to you so you can come back? What the heck how do you warp a post like that and twist it around to "I don't need to give love out people need to give it to me so they can get it back from me"? LOL? Bro Delete that ish do it now. If you want I'll reset my count with you and pretend this is day one of not looking and we can count down together. I don't think we are doing ourselves justice by looking. I know Im not. Only hanging on to the crazy. 
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« Reply #7 on: August 26, 2014, 10:35:08 PM »

It was an addiction before I accepted that the pain isnt worth the curiosity.
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« Reply #8 on: August 26, 2014, 10:57:56 PM »

[

Thank you for this brother. I disagree with the part of not doing things on purpose. There is definite proven intent there. I have seen calculated movements and also she or they are simply not children they are adults and have lived in social situations long enough to know when something is wrong.

Its difficult for me to explain what I mean by this as Ive just come off of the night shift and my heads a bit fuzzy but I will have a go and hope it makes sense.

The things they do to hurt us are like a child would do. They are a reaction to perceived hurt/ injustice. They are not the calculated revenge that people think. The problem though with BPD is that if a survival mechanism works then they will keep using it. It becomes more of a way of easing their suffering than a means of hurting you. Yes it is intentional but not for the reasons with think.

I hope that makes sense.
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« Reply #9 on: August 26, 2014, 11:02:14 PM »

In this way I am so lucky because my uBPDexh is also PPD (also undiagnosed, just my belief).  He is super paranoid about basically everyone knowing his business, doesn't trust anyone, super conspiracist and doesn't have instagram and deactivated his fb account a couple of years ago.  Also he's on the outs with his family as they are all fed up with him so I doubt he'll activate his fb account.

I have a fb account that is also deactivated since before we split but I do occasionally sign on to see what is up with his family, in a way not letting go.  I wish I could bring myself to just delete it entirely but not there yet.
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« Reply #10 on: August 26, 2014, 11:11:00 PM »

[

Thank you for this brother. I disagree with the part of not doing things on purpose. There is definite proven intent there. I have seen calculated movements and also she or they are simply not children they are adults and have lived in social situations long enough to know when something is wrong.

Its difficult for me to explain what I mean by this as Ive just come off of the night shift and my heads a bit fuzzy but I will have a go and hope it makes sense.

The things they do to hurt us are like a child would do. They are a reaction to perceived hurt/ injustice. They are not the calculated revenge that people think. The problem though with BPD is that if a survival mechanism works then they will keep using it. It becomes more of a way of easing their suffering than a means of hurting you. Yes it is intentional but not for the reasons with think.

I hope that makes sense.

I have read on these boards many times how their actions are not calculated revenge or intentionally manipulative.  I get the part about the disorder causing them to act out in these ways like a child would but does this mean they are incapable of also doing calculated things?  Because in my case, although I can see how many things he did was an inability to see things rationally and he was reacting emotionally from long-ago wounds, trying to survive, I also saw a highly intelligent man who was very cunning. 
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« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2014, 11:25:17 PM »

Don't get me wrong there is calculation behind it but the same way a drug addict calculates their actions in order to get a fix. What I am trying to get at is the fact that what drives the BPD to do things isn't because they enjoy it and do it for the fun of it. Its because it fills a need.

Showing people how wonderful their new partner is may be seen as trying to hurt you but it is them enforcing the lie. Yes they might think they are wonderful but they let people know it to show that they have made the right decision. Its about their self image and how they are right because if they are wrong about anything then they must be wrong about everything. These lies and actions are what holds their world together.
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« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2014, 11:34:08 PM »

Don't get me wrong there is calculation behind it but the same way a drug addict calculates their actions in order to get a fix. What I am trying to get at is the fact that what drives the BPD to do things isn't because they enjoy it and do it for the fun of it. Its because it fills a need.

Showing people how wonderful their new partner is may be seen as trying to hurt you but it is them enforcing the lie. Yes they might think they are wonderful but they let people know it to show that they have made the right decision. Its about their self image and how they are right because if they are wrong about anything then they must be wrong about everything. These lies and actions are what holds their world together.

I get what you are saying.  Mine went to a family reunion a month after we separated and told many people how he has a new girlfriend who loves the outdoors (like him) and now he's always smiling!   Like he was trying to sell some image.  I thought that this just showed a lack of class (yes he is a giant child) as they all liked me.  I wondered if it was to show that he was not emasculated by me as I ended the marriage or if it was because he figured it would get back to me (which it did). 
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« Reply #13 on: August 26, 2014, 11:36:39 PM »

Don't get me wrong there is calculation behind it but the same way a drug addict calculates their actions in order to get a fix. What I am trying to get at is the fact that what drives the BPD to do things isn't because they enjoy it and do it for the fun of it. Its because it fills a need.

Showing people how wonderful their new partner is may be seen as trying to hurt you but it is them enforcing the lie. Yes they might think they are wonderful but they let people know it to show that they have made the right decision. Its about their self image and how they are right because if they are wrong about anything then they must be wrong about everything. These lies and actions are what holds their world together.

See now you are on the right track that is a better comparrison. It is more like an aclhoholic or a drug addict. Concious choice to rage, abuse , lie , cheat. Not easy to break but a concious one. Let's me make this clear. I am not saying it is easy but people seem to get it confused like skiztophenia. It is not skitzophrenia. You cannot control those visions. The ability is not there to do so. BPD's have the ability. Big difference. If they did not then they could not go to work point blank period. They're path is hard they deserve empathy of some sort. Yes they do! However they get no free pass. THeyre free pass is about as valid as a crackhead who creeps in your window and holds your sleeping daughter at knifepoint for money then fondles her before he leaves. Get where Im getting at? They get no pass. Theyre free pass is about as valid as a person driving drunk who runs over your son and keeps driving then gets away with it and does it again because hes having a rough time quitting alcohol. They are adults plain and simple. They have evolved intelligence level enough for mine to work in corporate and enough for others to be professors. They saw that person they ran over with the car while drunk and they got back inn the car and did it again and again and again and again and again. When do they get help? After the 20th person or 21st? How many free passes do they get before they are accountable and considered an adult?

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« Reply #14 on: August 27, 2014, 05:00:20 AM »

I understand where your coming from. Yes they should be accountable for their actions.

What you have to bear in mind is that even though they are adults this behaviour has been with them from child hood. It is deeply ingrained into them.

Also you have to bear in mind that it is not the action of a stable mind. There is a lot of evidence pointing to under developed parts of the brain and hormonal imbalance with BPD. We have all experienced or heard of the devil woman at a particular time of month or during pregnancy. They do not choose to behave that way. What is making them do it is the affect of hormonal imbalance. When you get hit by one of these monthly rages it is not pleasant but you can sympathise.
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« Reply #15 on: August 27, 2014, 07:13:53 AM »

I don't check up on my pwBPD but I have been known to check up on her bf (my ex).

It's bad and I wish I could stop but, if you know my situation, I worry a lot about him and what she will do to hi matter what she did to me and the things I have heard here. I can't do anything, I can't take action but it's a way to watch over from affair like a guard dog ha.

I've notice since Christmas he has deactivated and re-activated his account on and off which is quite unlike him. Perhaps the relationship has finally past it's honeymoon stage? I hope so  I just want him to get away from a nasty sort like that.
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« Reply #16 on: August 27, 2014, 08:17:20 AM »

I understand where your coming from. Yes they should be accountable for their actions.

What you have to bear in mind is that even though they are adults this behaviour has been with them from child hood. It is deeply ingrained into them.

Also you have to bear in mind that it is not the action of a stable mind. There is a lot of evidence pointing to under developed parts of the brain and hormonal imbalance with BPD. We have all experienced or heard of the devil woman at a particular time of month or during pregnancy. They do not choose to behave that way. What is making them do it is the affect of hormonal imbalance. When you get hit by one of these monthly rages it is not pleasant but you can sympathise.

And mine has a brain injury on top of the PD so there is definitely changes to the brain, from which source I've never been certain.

As far as the devil woman, as a relatively healthy woman I don't think I've ever been one at that time of the month or during my pregnancies.  Yes my mood has been altered by my hormones but because I have some aspect of control over my emotions I don't rage or make other's lives a living hell.  Different story if you have BPD though I would imagine.
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« Reply #17 on: August 27, 2014, 08:24:25 AM »

my ex has hundreds of followers on instagram. i have always found it interesting that many of the people who "like" his posts are strangers, rather than friends. regardless, he portrays himself to be this positive, uplifting, inspirational person. i cannot wrap my head around the person he thinks he is, versus the person i know him to be.

learning about BPDs arrested emotional development has put a lot of things in perspective, but i do believe his posts (which i've mentioned on another thread) are intentional digs at me. they are too cruel and hurtful to believe otherwise.
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« Reply #18 on: August 27, 2014, 09:05:38 AM »

my ex has hundreds of followers on instagram. i have always found it interesting that many of the people who "like" his posts are strangers, rather than friends. regardless, he portrays himself to be this positive, uplifting, inspirational person. i cannot wrap my head around the person he thinks he is, versus the person i know him to be.

learning about BPDs arrested emotional development has put a lot of things in perspective, but i do believe his posts (which i've mentioned on another thread) are intentional digs at me. they are too cruel and hurtful to believe otherwise.

They do intentionally dig on social media and it is cruel again no free pass from me at all. Btw Im day 5 without even a sneak peak at it. Ill remove her bullish media powers over me that I granted her. If you dont look they cant do stupid ish like that .
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« Reply #19 on: August 27, 2014, 09:13:42 AM »

AG, i am looking, but not responding in any way, so he may or may not know. (i unfollowed him and his account is public.) but you're right, i need to stop. today will be day 3 of NC for me and hopefully day 1 of N(social media)C.
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« Reply #20 on: August 27, 2014, 09:32:08 AM »

I deleted my FB account, made another one under a false name, informed my friends about it and blocked every account I know are his. My exbPD is a FB guru and had a social media company, so he knew all the tricks. In previous break ups he would launch a big smear campaign on FB, and that use to kill me. Panic anxiety, anger... .I felt the need to defend myself so I would post back... .Very unhealthy and unproductive... .Also I would recycle through FB, get a message... .Or feel the need to send him one if I was angry at a post... .

I know his page is filled with either loads an loads of crap, or loads and loads of love declarations... .Either way non of my business... .I really dont want him to find me on FB, I dont want him to see another picture of me, I dont want him to know how I am doing, i even dont want him to know wether I am alive or not... .He spoiled the right to have any knowledge about me with his abusive crap.

He's out of my life, so off of FB, of off everything... .  What he thinks, how he feels, who he dates, what he says about me... Its none of my business anymore.
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« Reply #21 on: August 27, 2014, 02:54:36 PM »

Interesting thread. Mine isn't baiting me. She's forgotten all about me. Hell, now I'm beginning to think I'm the pwBPD. I've posted lots on my FB page -just usual weekly stuff, but she doesn't respond. She hasn't blocked me from her FB, so I look every once in awhile, but she doesn't spend that much time on there. She just blocked me on her IG. She was the ethereal mystic, not me. I was becoming like her, tho. I dunno. Guess I just miss her and want to see her posts, and her responses from 500+ IG strangers to remind myself that I wasn't special. She never raged. She cried all the time. Let me in, or so I thought. And she, too, had a brain tumor removed / brain injury. I don't even really know if she's a pwBPD. It was suggested by two therapists that she sounded like she had the traits. She doesn't talk to her sisters. She paints people black and cuts them out. I never thought it would happen to me. Kept telling me how well I understood her, how I was her best friend, how she had never opened up to others the way she opened up to me. I guess looking at her IG is a way of helping myself break out of denial? My birthday is Friday. I'm preparing myself. I know I will not hear from her.
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« Reply #22 on: August 27, 2014, 03:29:34 PM »

Interesting thread. Mine isn't baiting me. She's forgotten all about me. Hell, now I'm beginning to think I'm the pwBPD. I've posted lots on my FB page -just usual weekly stuff, but she doesn't respond. She hasn't blocked me from her FB, so I look every once in awhile, but she doesn't spend that much time on there. She just blocked me on her IG. She was the ethereal mystic, not me. I was becoming like her, tho. I dunno. Guess I just miss her and want to see her posts, and her responses from 500+ IG strangers to remind myself that I wasn't special. She never raged. She cried all the time. Let me in, or so I thought. And she, too, had a brain tumor removed / brain injury. I don't even really know if she's a pwBPD. It was suggested by two therapists that she sounded like she had the traits. She doesn't talk to her sisters. She paints people black and cuts them out. I never thought it would happen to me. Kept telling me how well I understood her, how I was her best friend, how she had never opened up to others the way she opened up to me. I guess looking at her IG is a way of helping myself break out of denial? My birthday is Friday. I'm preparing myself. I know I will not hear from her.

Its not a good thing to be baited though im sure you prob think it would be better. Its like a bully coming back to ur house over and over to kick ur ass after he has already kicked ur ass plenty of times Laugh out loud (click to insert in post). Your are lucky u dont get bothered and ur healing can be uninterupted by nonsense. Callong my job and staying silent while o say hello or showing up at my place randomly is not my idea of care that i had in mind
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levelup
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 50



« Reply #23 on: August 27, 2014, 05:26:57 PM »

I had deactivated my Facebook early on in my marriage, and did not activate it again until all th e divorce paperwork was filed (still awaiting court approval).

When I logged back on, the first thing I did was to turn my entire history private,  so I could star fresh, but any future posts are still readable by friends.

Meanwhile, my wife did not unfriend me, but she blocked me from viewing her timeline.  So the only stuff I see related to her is when she is in my own feed, when she is tagged in or posts a reply to something else that is already available to me.

I'm actually fine with that, because I'm free from checking up on what she's up to.  Meanwhile, she's free to see whatever I post.  And if there's anything I learned about her, it's that she's constantly checking up on people on Facebook.

I figure the best thing I can do is live my Facebook life without saying or doing anything positive or negative with respect to her, and staying away from other women (which I should do anyway, since I'm not officially divorced yet).

If she wants to look for something in my Facebook posts to paint me black, there won't be anything there to use, and any attempts to do so will be more of a reflection of herself than of me.

I don't need to hide from her on Facebook, because there's nothing to hide.

Maybe one day I will block her, but I don't see any reason to do that now, and I'm okay with that.
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icecream
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 92



« Reply #24 on: August 28, 2014, 02:00:39 PM »

Being facebook-friends between my ex and me was actually very usefull in the aftermath of our r/s break-up.

When being dumped out of the blue a few years ago with no closure or adult behaviour and being long distance it was very hard for me to make sense out of what happend.

Text messages and facebook was basicly the only connection left.

It is by analyzing her posts, her flirts, her rollercoasters of up's and down's, her check-ins, her log on times, her pictures, her messages to me, her silent treatments ... .and all what she shares online that i came to realize who my ex is in combination with the information i gained online about personality disorders.

And this made the puzzle for me.

So during this period of time when the fog lifted there was no way i could block her because her online behaviour gave me the answers i was looking for.

We are still fb-friends with basicly no interaction but to view her cycles with the replacements are just more proof and it served me well to detach emotionally because i was just another in the mess and its not about me.

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