Even her Ex's family knew something was off.

[Youcantfoolme]

I got some interesting info today about my Brothers BPD wife. It just so happens, my moms cousin, lives next door to one of her ex-boyfriends. This boyfriend, in particular, was the first guy she dated after her 2nd divorce, from her daughters father. He was much younger than her about 7-8 years. She seems to always have dated men younger than her. I don't really know why. I think it's possibly so she can control them.

Anyway, even the reason we know of her ex and the fact that he lives next door to a family member, is odd. There was a lot of drama before the wedding (all her creation). She caused a lot of trouble in my family and upset a lot of people. There was a lot of back and forth, and facebook was one of the platforms she used, to channel her anger with us. It was also her way of stalking us. At one point I finally had to block her because she was constantly accusing me of writing about her. Even though I wasn't. Even after I blocked her and she unfriended my mother, she claimed she still knew we were writing about her. She told my mom she hears things from "other people" that she's writing about her. She even told my mom that she knows one of my family members because she lives next door to her ex. She was insinuating that our family member was giving her the information, however she wouldn't say who it was.

I was finally able to figure it out one day by honing in on my sleuthing skills. Once we figured it out, my mother called the family member, it was one her her cousins. The cousin had NEVER even spoken to my brothers wife! She remembered seeing her with her ex but they never once exchanged words.

It was sort of like she handed us a golden ticket into her very mysterious past. The cousin asked the ex and his family about my brothers wife and we got quite an interesting response. Just like she did with my brother, she had pressured him very early on into the relationship, to move into her home with her. Soon after she stared pressuring for marriage but he wasn't even close to ready. He said she was VERY insecure and controlling towards him. She wouldn't even allow him to see his friends. On the rare occasions he could see them, she had to be there too. Other than that, every time they did anything with friends, they were her friends. She of course was allowed to see her friends any time she wanted, regardless of whether or not he was around. He also had no idea as to why her and her daughters father broke up.

We also learned that all of his family and friends didn't like her and were secretly praying he'd break it off with her. His sister even had a nickname for her that she'd use when speaking about her. It was , "Crazy (wife's name)". She started calling her this after she witnessed a fight between the two of them. One in which she chased after him, down the road, screaming at him.

What finally pushed him to the edge one day was when they were going to his family's home for a holiday. He had heard an old friend of his, was back in town and he wanted to stop by and see him really quick. When he told her that, she made a huge scene in front of his family and was yelling at him, telling him he cannot go. Finally he told her he had enough and broke up. After the breakup followed months and months of harassing calls from her, begging for him to come back.

Hearing this, made me feel more sane. At times I question myself. Maybe it's me, maybe my mom and I are the crazy ones. But no, we aren't. Just about everything he described, is the exact same thing, we feel she is putting my brother through. The jealousy, the anger, the isolation. Everything. The only difference is, that this guy was much smarter than my brother. He got out before it got too serious.

The similarities are uncanny. I cannot believe how these people can repeat the same exact pattern with everyone they meet. Why don't they seem to learn from their mistakes? It goes to show that this has been an ongoing issue of hers with relationships. She needs to be in control. She needs to make the rules but not follow them herself. I wish my brother wasn't the sucker who fell for her and married her but this story does give me hope. It may had taken a while but her ex finally had enough one day and decided he could no longer go on living the way he was living. I hope to god, that happens one day with my brother so he, my mom and I can have our relationship back.