struggling to move on...

[pumpkin79]

I was pursued by a friend and very hesitantly had a relationship with a girl who presents with bps traits, and who is in counseling for these issues.  Anyway, I was abruptly dumped out of the blue, and eventually told I don't want to talk or see you anymore, after she was the one who pursued me and the relationship very intensely.  After several months of no communication, she apologized and we talked regularly for a month.  After we got closer, and I started expressing my feelings and wanting to see each other, she became distant, starting ignoring me, and when I came to her house to see her, was loving and cuddly to me, only to text me a week later to tell me, I think it's best if we don't communicate.  She ignored all of my texts in which I called her out on her behavior, but did so in a nice way.  I am struggling with my head and heart.  I know she is unhealthy and unable to have a normal relationship, and know she has hurt me so bad, and will only continue to hurt me, so I know I need to move on.  My heart wants her to apologize because her behavior is ridiculous, and I want to hear from her even though I know this cycle will continue as long as I expect her to be able to have a normal conversation of talking about feelings, because she shuts down anytime I talk about feelings, and says she can't handle it.

[pumpkin79]

I meant to type BPD traits

[freedom33]

You will NEVER EVER get a genuine apology from a pwBPD. The closest to an apology I was able to get to was on two occasions something like 'I am sorry about doing so BUT... .(it was your fault)'. I was never able to extract a remorseful response from her. Actually this is what killed the relationship. I can forgive as long as someone genuinely apologises. If she came back and apologised genuinely for a few things and took responsibility I would have probably taken her back again - and maybe start doubting myself again maybe she is not BPD after all and it is all my fault (as I though was the case for 3 months... .)