No Supply?

[Lolster]

Most posts here, and information elsewhere, suggests that most BPD's secure a new supply before completely splitting their current supply black?

I don't feel this is the case with my pwBPD, this time around or the first time.  I do think that was the case with my exh, (BPD traits but lots of other issues that cloud which behaviours were linked to which disorders).

So what happens when they have no supply? 

The impression I got was this pwBPD hit rock bottom the first time around and ended up being hospitalised.  When he recycled he was quite vague about it all though and admitted he was already nearing rock bottom when we first hooked up (which I realised and ended the relationship early on).  I know he could have been lying about the low he reached in an attempt to plant that seed for break up during the recycle, and he did indeed bring it up in relation to me pointing out unacceptable behaviour early on in the recycle. 

Other information he imparted, like his doctors liaising with social care to find a suitable, adapted home near to his daughter to maintain mental stability did seem realistic though.

I'm wondering if he was already approaching rock bottom again, hence the need to recycle me in an attempt to try and avoid it?  But it appears he never really went away, I just didn't receive his earlier attempts at contact. 

[BuildingFromScratch]

Most Borderlines aren't in treatment. If he is, he has a much better chance of tolerating time alone. Also, who knows if he had someone else? That is something you cannot really know. I'm starting to wonder in hindsight, if my ex cheated on me. Hate to say that, but it's true. ;p

[Infared]

Most Borderlines aren't in treatment. If he is, he has a much better chance of tolerating time alone. Also, who knows if he had someone else? That is something you cannot really know. I'm starting to wonder in hindsight, if my ex cheated on me. Hate to say that, but it's true. ;p

I had no evidence at the time when my pwBPD "ran off", but I intuitively knew that she did not have the strength to "go-it-alone".  Of course... .I was correct. I think it is very unusual for a pwBPD to do anything without supply... .but I am no expert.

[Infern0]

My ex had no supply a little while before we met because she had messed up with the two guys she had around then. She hit rock bottom,  attempted suicide and then started going to therapy and getting meds.

She then met orbiter 1, and me orbiter 2, thought she was "better" and left therapy and stopped medicating. Her behaviour became more erratic,  and eventually I got painted black and orbiter 1 is now the love of her life (she admitted to me before tgat she had no feelings for him and did sexual favors for him so he'd stay around) I have a high moral compass and although I had no idea what was wrong with her and had never heard of BPD I ruled out anything physical unless I knew it was what she really wanted.

Anyway orbiter 1 is a former drug addict with major issues and is a complete enabler,  so I imagine they will last a long time in Wonderland.

[Lolster]

Most Borderlines aren't in treatment. If he is, he has a much better chance of tolerating time alone. Also, who knows if he had someone else? That is something you cannot really know. I'm starting to wonder in hindsight, if my ex cheated on me. Hate to say that, but it's true. ;p

He absolutely cannot tolerate time alone, he talked about it a lot in the few weeks we were back in contact. I also suspected he was spending so much time with his child to alleviate his fear of being alone, rather than to meet her needs, and thus setting no parental boundaries, i.e. fitting her into his warped sleep patterns due to his sleep disorder.  

He may well have not been receiving the correct therapy, he didn't discuss it much, other than to say it never worked, other than to make him leave the house once a week and have someone to speak to for an hour.  When he recycled though he wrote me a dissertation about how he'd had therapy and was better now, it was only after he'd succeeded in getting me to meet up that the truth came out regarding how he felt about therapy.  He ended up in therapy because the first time I broke up with him he was sending me suicide threats when I didn't cave into the 'pull' to get me back.  I simply contacted his father and politely asked him to deal with it then left it at that.

From what I could glean his issues were put down to depression due to his physical ailments, and therefore he wouldn't have had the right kind of therapy.  

He is not currently receiving any therapy, but is due for therapy regarding sleep. He has already written this off before attending on the basis of "How does talking about it help, unless they plan on boring me to sleep?"

[Lolster]

Most Borderlines aren't in treatment. If he is, he has a much better chance of tolerating time alone. Also, who knows if he had someone else? That is something you cannot really know. I'm starting to wonder in hindsight, if my ex cheated on me. Hate to say that, but it's true. ;p

I had no evidence at the time when my pwBPD "ran off", but I intuitively knew that she did not have the strength to "go-it-alone".  Of course... .I was correct. I think it is very unusual for a pwBPD to do anything without supply... .but I am no expert.

I actually don't think he expected to be left without supply, I disengaged much earlier this time around.  I let him have his last written rant without responding to it, but that was after I had made it clear to not contact me again, and showing much less compassion than the first time.  I pretty much gave him no option other than to split me black, whereas the first time around I was concerned about hurting his feelings because I didn't realise where they were coming from at the time.  I think he just expected it to be another push/pull that he would control.

It's 5 weeks NC since his last rant and my lack of response.  Last time around he continued to contact me incessantly despite me not responding.  I'm hopeful that he has indeed found a new supply, or reverted to a previous one.