Extreme Object Constancy?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

So I found out from my recycle that my exBPD still has a piece of my underwear.    I'm talking 6+ years ago, and he really didn't think this was odd.    

I sincerely hope he gets around to throwing it out now he's split me black... .What I don't understand is why he didn't do that last time he split me black?  He only split me black because I left him and went NC. 

[Lolster]

So I found out from my recycle that my exBPD still has a piece of my underwear.    I'm talking 6+ years ago, and he really didn't think this was odd.    

I sincerely hope he gets around to throwing it out now he's split me black... .What I don't understand is why he didn't do that last time he split me black?  He only split me black because I left him and went NC. 

[rg1976]

I don't think it's a BPD trait. Maybe he has some kind of underwear fetish?

Also it could be he used it as a "reminder" or re-enforcer of the object (you).  There are threads here about pwBPD keeping pictures or other sentimental items. Sometimes trivial things, sometimes not.

In the end, who knows? It's his problem, not yours, right?

[Skip]

There is a lot of confusion between "object consistency" and "transitional objects" on message boards.

The former has to do with people, the later has to do with objects.

Transitional Objects: For children, a ''transitional object'' can be a teddy bear, or a security blanket. For long the conventional wisdom has been that, as normal children mature, they outgrow such fixations. And the attachment to blankets and the like after 3 or so was, in the classic psychoanalytic framework, defined as disturbed or regressive behavior.

The connotation has been negative, but Horton believes the evidence is against that.  His work embodies a school of thought among those in psychiatry who hold that such attachments can continue normally: ''The relationship that I'm talking about is vital, humane and essential to development throughout one's life,'' he said.

Object Consistency: I think these pages from Gunderson's text (ISBN-10:1585620165) really help put it into perspective - it addresses the issue of object constancy for a pwBPD and their developing relationship to the major object (people) in their life.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=70884.msg579575#msg579575