how do BPD people handle loved ones deaths

[letmeout]

I am about to go visit my brother who is in stage 4 cancer. His wife is extreme BPD to the extent that she collects disability for it.

She knows how crazy she is, but keeps accusing him of dying so that he can get away from her. This makes him feel terrible as he has always been a very good caretaker to her, even through years of her abuse.

How can we get her to take care of him for once? She keeps missing taking him to his doctor appointments. Has anyone else got experience in handling a BPD while their spouse is dying? What can we expect from her in terms of cooperating?