It finally happened...

[krax]

So... .it's been a long time since I was here. Me and my BPD girlfriend broke up about three years ago. It was a hard break for me, it took a LONG time for me to recover in order to handle life the way I usually did. I moved away from the city, took a university degree, and came back a few months ago. I've always been dredging the moment I'd meet her.

Tonight it finally happened... .I was out with a few friends, stood in line to order food,. I turned my neck backwards and there she was... .my heart jumped, i told my friend "___... that's ****". He looked back and "yup that's her... .". I breathed for a moment and decided to go and say hello to her... .But she was instantly gone. We looked for her but didn't find her... .I was so dissapointed. i just wanted to say hi... .i knew it would happen eventually and wanted to get it over with. But she fled the scene just like that that.

I feel heartbroken right now,  like it was yesterday, even though it's been three years. I feel so pathetic... .Is this normal?

[Infared]

I have felt the same way krax.  I am years out,too and I have a strict NC ... .and I mean absolute because of the way I was treated... .I just will not put myself in a position to be abused anymore. Not ever.

I believe that she is married to my replacement... .but not positive.

She does occasionally try to ambush me in a parking lot or store, etc. and it is always very upsetting to me... .it's so sick... but I only have control over my actions... .not hers.

I get angry more than anything... .but I make my escape and do the best that I can with my feelings. It's the best I can do.