Thoughts on how to handle this...

[Eric1]

I haven't been on here for a while, which is a huge telling point in how I'm moving forward.

I've had sporadic contact from the ex... .Usually when she's been drinking. The last message was this Saturday asking me 'what song would you play at your funeral?' Random question, I know! I told her that we can't talk anymore (she has a boyfriend).  She replied the following day saying she agrees and she hopes I'm ok.

Now, I know it's probably best to leave it there. But after being around here for a whole, I understand that this will trigger her abandonment fears & I feel the need to explain my reasons.

[myself]

Does she feel the need to explain the sporadic contact, random questions, and how it affects you? No? Why? Because she's disordered? She agreed you can't talk anymore, so why not leave it at that? Do you think she'll honor it, and not break boundaries again? As far as her abandonment fears being triggered, she's your ex. There's no r/s to abandon. Having been around here, you've probably learned that pwBPD are triggered by being closer with them, too, like explaining yourself and being reasonable. How to handle it? If you're done, you're done. Block her if you need. Don't respond. Continue moving forward.

[Eric1]

Thanks for the reply. She's blocked me now anyway!

[fred6]

Thanks for the reply. She's blocked me now anyway!

She randomly contacted you and then blocked you. That's ironic and kind of silly... .

[Eric1]

I did reply 'we can't chat anymore. It doesn't work' because she has a boyfriend & I don't want to be triangulated

[Clearmind]

She's putting her feelers out to see if you will respond. You did.

Next time ignore it and maybe look at why you felt the need to engage