Recycling a ghost.

[Chasing_Ghosts]

Why is it the initial relationship is always so much longer in most cases than the successive recycles that follow? After displaying such behaviors can we ever be truly expect for the patterns and cycles of a BPD such as the recycle attempts to not repeat? Can we do something to truly "push" the BPD away or is more often than not the nons job to be the one to walk away finally? I guess im curious because as much as ive been through im still not ready to walk away. I want to and i truly am addressing all my issues such as codependency and childhood trauma being the likely suspect of my firm grasp on the fantasy she has projected. Essentially the ghost i still find myself chasing. As well shes falling back into addiction and my inner savior complex is going haywire. Of course she wants nothing to do with my wanting to be there for her... just cares about the drugs. I showed her a boundary by not enabling her drug use. I wouldnt find them for her and bringing up that work was not the real issue of wanting to use. This is something ive never really done. So idk if shell shut me out now for being strong and addressing the elephant in the room? Part me hopes shell reach out to recycle but i fear shes too far gone. Unfortunately so is my sanity at this point. 

[myself]

Can we do something to truly "push" the BPD away or is more often than not the nons job to be the one to walk away finally?

Be real. Be honest. Have boundaries.

You won't have to walk. They'll run.

They can live their chaos somewhere else.