it's a terrible addiction

[kc sunshine]

What's my problem? I was doing okay, and now I've fallen down the rabbit hole of engagement after breaking NC last night and this morning. I can see the addictive qualities-- even though the contact itself is not good while we are in it (and I want to leave or hang up the phone), it leaves me wanting more when we are not together.

This is a rough day.

[fromheeltoheal]

You're right, it does feel like an addiction, and as with any addiction, instead of fighting it, it's easier to create something new.  Once we pick a direction for our lives and take steps towards it, at first to just move away from our exes, with time it becomes a destiny, we end up moving towards something instead of away from something, and the ex just fades away into the past as we build the life of our dreams.  We're also extra motivated at first, and if we use that motivation to build momentum, that carries over into our future.

So what can you do right now to start the process?

[pieceofme]

it is an addiction, and like you, it leaves me wanting more when we are not together.

kc, i've followed your posts and attempts at maintaining NC. i've been stumbling along the same path. i've been able to string 4 days of NC together (twice now), before my ex gets me to break.

however, at the moment, i am split black. even though he text me last, i feel like i'm really just ignoring him ignoring me, so i'm not sure if it's NC or not. i am craving contact, almost to the point where i pray i hear from him.

it is a hard addiction to break.

[kc sunshine]

Piece of me, I'm right with you. Four days has been my longest stretch as well. Shall we see if we can make it to five together? I'm still on day 0 though.

[pieceofme]

kc, yes, let's make it to 5 together  

i'm mid day 2 of NC. although he text me about half an hour ago, i ignored it.

this is one of the hardest things i've ever done in my life.