Understanding mirroring and projection on new supply - Part II

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

You're better off waiting a bit. Remember you're dealing with an illogical, irrational human being. One who has as much crazy in her as Ted Bundy.

Just leave it a few more weeks. pop up some time mid October. Then strongly ask her about the kids. You mustn't show weakness or go all soppy over her. I'm not saying this to be a d!ck I'm saying it because she won't respond well to it. I've been there. She will be cold, disinterested. But I believe that if you ask about the children, keep it solely on-topic you should be able to make progress on that front.

But be prepared, she may just try to use them as a weapon.

I was going to upload a picture of my cat as my profile picture on Facebook yesterday but I forgot. So I logged on a little while ago and low and behold exBPD is logged in from "mobile" on the little chat box thing on the right. I guess she was on her lunch break, she's a Facebookaholic. Anyhow, I proceed to change my profile picture and something interesting happened. She logged off and disappeared quicker than a fart in the wind.  I wonder what's up with that? I wonder if she's going to do that anytime I post something or when she see's something from me come across her newsfeed? Kinda strange... .

[fred6]

You're better off waiting a bit. Remember you're dealing with an illogical, irrational human being. One who has as much crazy in her as Ted Bundy.

Just leave it a few more weeks. pop up some time mid October. Then strongly ask her about the kids. You mustn't show weakness or go all soppy over her. I'm not saying this to be a d!ck I'm saying it because she won't respond well to it. I've been there. She will be cold, disinterested. But I believe that if you ask about the children, keep it solely on-topic you should be able to make progress on that front.

But be prepared, she may just try to use them as a weapon.

I was going to upload a picture of my cat as my profile picture on Facebook yesterday but I forgot. So I logged on a little while ago and low and behold exBPD is logged in from "mobile" on the little chat box thing on the right. I guess she was on her lunch break, she's a Facebookaholic. Anyhow, I proceed to change my profile picture and something interesting happened. She logged off and disappeared quicker than a fart in the wind.  I wonder what's up with that? I wonder if she's going to do that anytime I post something or when she see's something from me come across her newsfeed? Kinda strange... .

[fred6]

^^^Wow, she did it again. I simply posted something about me being an introvert, nothing toward her or aimed at her. And bam, logged out and gone. Looks like Facebook isn't big enough for the both of us, . I'll continue NC, but if I wanna post something on my Facebook page, I'm gonna post it. F-her, she can delete me if she doesn't like it. What a nutbag... .

I saw something today on Facebook that reminded me of something she told me a few weeks ago. She said that, "it's over, we are never getting back together". I want to post this so bad on her page and just unfriend her ass. I love grumpy cat, .

[fred6]

Actually the above behavior seems kind of paranoid to me. It reminds me of some things that she has said in the past. In April after she quit her job, she told me that everyone at the job she quit was out to get her. She then split them black. But these people didn't do anything to her and were her long time friends.

About 2 weeks ago her son told me that she said that I was somehow listening to her cell phone calls through my cell phone. I was like What the heck? I ain't James Bond. I don't even think that's possible. Some of her ex friends have told me recently that she seemed real paranoid at work sometimes. So she seems to have some kind of paranoia to a certain extent. Do BPD's exhibit some kind of traits of being paranoid?

[Rise]

She said that, "it's over, we are never getting back together". I want to post this so bad on her page and just unfriend her ass.

So why don't you just unfriend her? If you do that, you eliminate all this drama. No more concern about whether or not she's run and hiding from you on facebook, no more having to read into her actions. You're absolutely right in that you shouldn't worry how your posts affect her. You should post what you want when you want. But you also don't have to expose yourself to her issues.

[fred6]

She said that, "it's over, we are never getting back together". I want to post this so bad on her page and just unfriend her ass.

So why don't you just unfriend her? If you do that, you eliminate all this drama. No more concern about whether or not she's run and hiding from you on facebook, no more having to read into her actions. You're absolutely right in that you shouldn't worry how your posts affect her. You should post what you want when you want. But you also don't have to expose yourself to her issues.

Because as a non, I'm as crazy as she is, .  I'll just observe from a distance and continue NC. I want to watch this mirroring thing play out for a little bit. It really is interesting, like she's a whole new person... .

What about paranoia? Do BPDs typically have traits of paranoia?