a few days of quiet.

[RR4U]

Well I have to day that never really thought an online support group would help but I can say that reading the posts and comments do help. I am amazed by how many people are in a simular situation.

Received in the mail a flyer about a seminar for personality disorders and thought maybe I should go. Its more of a seminar on how to treat personality disorders. Thought hmm maybe that would not be a good idea not my job to treat him.

With that said I have two full days of quiet hes away. Its strange I would of thought I would be happy except its too quiet. No ones arguing with me over stupid stuff.  Not sure what I am going to fo with free time... .

He finally got the name of a new T. I wait to see if he will go. I so want to be like did you call yet but I keep quiet. This is the first time hes doing his own work finding someone the last few I found for marriage counseling that failed and he saw her individual. I was not pleased with her way of counseling and did not feel safe with her.  We shall see if maybe him finding his own will be better. I normally enable trying hard to step back...

Any thoughts if them finding there own snd doing the homework makes a difference? 

[Mutt]

Hi RR4U,

I'm not sure that I understand and I'm sorry. Do you mean that you did marriage counseling (together) with her and he's doing counselling (separately) with the same counselor that you don't like in MC?

Give credit where credit is due. Kudos for him with doing his own homework. I understand the anxiety when we have downtime from difficult SO. Try to enjoy a little R&R.

[RR4U]

Yes we were doing marriage counseling but both seeing her individual at times. I started to see she was not for support of the marriage she was more supporting of divorce.  I stopped going and found a new marriage counselor but he continued to see the old on individually.  At this point we are not seeing anyone and he started looking for a new individual T. Fingers crossed this one understands BPD.

[Mutt]

I agree with feeling uncomfortable. That sends a    if a MC is advocating divorce. Usually they will work top down. Save the marriage and work your way down to divorce. I hope that you get the help that you need. Don't get discouraged. Make sure your counselor syncs with you and one that understands BPD. I wish you good luck.