Going from high functioning to low functioning

[Bak86]

Is it possible for pwBPD's to change for the worse? My ex gf is a high functioning person in her public life, almost nobody used to notice something was wrong. Last couple of weeks she seems to be a complete mess and people in the workplace notice she's a mess too. Is it possible for high functioning pwBPD's to change to a low functioning?

[purpleavocado]

Oh, sure. How long ago did you break up? It's very possible that you were the glue holding it together, making excuses for her, etc, and once she didn't have that anymore she acted out.

That's what happened with my ex, anyway. Went completely wild after we finally broke up and got into legal problems.

[Bak86]

Oh, sure. How long ago did you break up? It's very possible that you were the glue holding it together, making excuses for her, etc, and once she didn't have that anymore she acted out.

That's what happened with my ex, anyway. Went completely wild after we finally broke up and got into legal problems.

Broken up for about 4 months now. We had a relationship that lasted 4/5 months. First 3 months after the breakup i chased her. Nothing seemed wrong with her. I mean she acted out towards me, but other people wouldn't notice. Now last 2 weeks she looks like a complete mess and acts out to colleagues. Last month i simply didn't pay any attention to her, i don't give any attention to her whatsoever.

[purpleavocado]

Oh, sure. How long ago did you break up? It's very possible that you were the glue holding it together, making excuses for her, etc, and once she didn't have that anymore she acted out.

That's what happened with my ex, anyway. Went completely wild after we finally broke up and got into legal problems.

Broken up for about 4 months now. We had a relationship that lasted 4/5 months. First 3 months after the breakup i chased her. Nothing seemed wrong with her. I mean she acted out towards me, but other people wouldn't notice. Now last 2 weeks she looks like a complete mess and acts out to colleagues. Last month i simply didn't pay any attention to her, i don't give any attention to her whatsoever.

Bingo. She's not getting attention from you anymore so she's craving attention, no matter how negative. It's sad but it's how they operate.

[Bak86]

Oh, sure. How long ago did you break up? It's very possible that you were the glue holding it together, making excuses for her, etc, and once she didn't have that anymore she acted out.

That's what happened with my ex, anyway. Went completely wild after we finally broke up and got into legal problems.

Broken up for about 4 months now. We had a relationship that lasted 4/5 months. First 3 months after the breakup i chased her. Nothing seemed wrong with her. I mean she acted out towards me, but other people wouldn't notice. Now last 2 weeks she looks like a complete mess and acts out to colleagues. Last month i simply didn't pay any attention to her, i don't give any attention to her whatsoever.

Bingo. She's not getting attention from you anymore so she's craving attention, no matter how negative. It's sad but it's how they operate.

Yeah but it's such a drastic change. She looks like a zombie now. People simply don't recognize her anymore.

[Rise]

I've found that with my ex that it's all a matter of what's going on in her life. There are periods of time that she holds stuff together pretty well, but if something traumatic happens in her life, she falls off the deep end. A couple years ago, she lost her job, her car, her apartment, got dumped by her then boyfriend and just fell apart. She lost a ton of weight, messed her skin up by picking at it (she would pop a zit and then keep going until she had opened up a wound), and could barely function in life. Everyone who used to know her was shocked at the way she looked, particularly because she used to take such pride in her looks and style. Her moods would shift even more rapidly and suddenly, and she was pretty much impossible to be around. Her own family was pretty much on the verge of disowning her.

I think the difference between a high functioning pwBPD and a low functioning one is often the circumstances of their lives at the moment, and how much the disorder is being triggered.

[Bak86]

I've found that with my ex that it's all a matter of what's going on in her life. There are periods of time that she holds stuff together pretty well, but if something traumatic happens in her life, she falls off the deep end. A couple years ago, she lost her job, her car, her apartment, got dumped by her then boyfriend and just fell apart. She lost a ton of weight, messed her skin up by picking at it (she would pop a zit and then keep going until she had opened up a wound), and could barely function in life. Everyone who used to know her was shocked at the way she looked, particularly because she used to take such pride in her looks and style. Her moods would shift even more rapidly and suddenly, and she was pretty much impossible to be around. Her own family was pretty much on the verge of disowning her.

I think the difference between a high functioning pwBPD and a low functioning one is often the circumstances of their lives at the moment, and how much the disorder is being triggered.

Yeah my ex is under some stress. Her landlord wants to sell the apartment, she had some unexpected bills she can't really pay etc. And it all sounds familiar what you just wrote. She has a really bad skin at the moment, lost some weight(she already was  skin over bones) and looks really really pale.

[Take2]

I think the difference between a high functioning pwBPD and a low functioning one is often the circumstances of their lives at the moment, and how much the disorder is being triggered.

I've wondered the same thing, if it's possible for the illness to get worse for my ex.  Because he seems SO different than he was when we first met 5 years ago.  He was a sweet 28 year old.  He's a totally different man now.  It may be because I got to know him so well and there is NO mask whatsoever anymore.  But stress also totally plays a role in how well is he functioning at any given time.  He doesn't hide his anger well at work and anyone who works with him/around him knows he is very, very moody.  I don't know if his coworkers thought that of him 5 years ago also as we were in different departments back then - but I never heard of that through the grapevine about him back then.  Hard to know for sure... .  it does appear to be very cyclical though... .