Is she actually happy now?

[hurting300]

Mine quits jobs faster than she can get them. Sleeps all day long and is never happy about anything. And is a big know it all. Quit college. I'm shocked she left because she has no future.

[BlackandBlue]

Mine quits jobs faster than she can get them. Sleeps all day long and is never happy about anything. And is a big know it all. Quit college. I'm shocked she left because she has no future.

Sounds somewhat familiar, my ex changed her major 3 times in college and switched to a different school each time. I wonder if she will even graduate. On days off she layed in bed all day and pretty much did nothing but watch some stupid TV shows. Then after she broke it off with me she said I never wanted to do anything... .what a bunch of BS! I could never get her out of bed to do anything. Why do they distort everything so much?

[hurting300]

Not that I'm complaining but towards the end all mine wanted to do is sex me up.

[Algae]

Not that I'm complaining but towards the end all mine wanted to do is sex me up.

Mine just wants to do that in the idolization phase.  Almost on a creepy level.  Then after thats over I swear shes borderline asexual

[hurting300]

My ex actually wanted to nurse me... as in me sucking her for milk. I was like wow .

[drummerboy]

Spooky, mine did that too. It got her off like nothing else. Wonder what Freud would make of THAT! She used to go into this whole "bubba is very hungry today isn't he, good bubba, drink all of mummy's milk"

My ex actually wanted to nurse me... as in me sucking her for milk. I was like wow .

[hurting300]

She actually held me like a baby. Does it make me crazy because I enjoyed it lmao

[rockinne]

But it drives me nuts because I wonder if she is happy, and honestly I dont want her to be. I want her to be miserable for what she did to me. I know that may sound messed up but I cant help it right now.

My ex is with a respectable man who makes good money, and does charity work for others rather frequently.  Apparently, he is a very good fella and treats her quite well.  I have felt resentment much like you described.  Wonder if I deep down wish she is miserable for the impact of her actions on our relationship and me specifically. 

Its ironic that for 20 years I felt I was the only one who could make her happy. The one who could rescue her from her misery.  I really hoped and prayed that she would be happy.  I have decided that if that day has come and it is because of the man she is with, then my 20 year dream has been finally come true.  But, I was never in the position where I could make her happy.  I was her codependent, her enabler.  There was no way either of us could have ever been happy as long as we shared a relationship,  Perhaps I was able to get her to the point where she can be happy with this man though.  I like to think I played a role in helping her become the kind of person who can be happy,  That was all I wanted to see for her. If she is, I celebrate that. That would mean this nice guy will not have to endure what I had to with her.  Maybe she is happy with him  Good for her

[hurting300]

But it drives me nuts because I wonder if she is happy, and honestly I dont want her to be. I want her to be miserable for what she did to me. I know that may sound messed up but I cant help it right now.

My ex is with a respectable man who makes good money, and does charity work for others rather frequently.  Apparently, he is a very good fella and treats her quite well.  I have felt resentment much like you described.  Wonder if I deep down wish she is miserable for the impact of her actions on our relationship and me specifically. 

Its ironic that for 20 years I felt I was the only one who could make her happy. The one who could rescue her from her misery.  I really hoped and prayed that she would be happy.  I have decided that if that day has come and it is because of the man she is with, then my 20 year dream has been finally come true.  But, I was never in the position where I could make her happy.  I was her codependent, her enabler.  There was no way either of us could have ever been happy as long as we shared a relationship,  Perhaps I was able to get her to the point where she can be happy with this man though.  I like to think I played a role in helping her become the kind of person who can be happy,  That was all I wanted to see for her. If she is, I celebrate that. That would mean this nice guy will not have to endure what I had to with her.  Maybe she is happy with him  Good for her she's happy for now.

yeah she's happy... .For now. If she is BPD then that guy is about to get it.

[ScotisGone74]

In the event she may be happy, that is today at this very second.    No telling what tomorrow will be like for them or an hour from now.    It may depend on which way the wind is blowing.    True happiness and strength come from within, so you know the chances of them finding it jumping from replacement to replacement

[lm911]

No they can't be happy in a long term. They can be happy on a dailiy basis, but nothing more. Even if they got a spouse, job and etc it will be not enough for them, because they are empty bottomless vessels.

[Algae]

No they can't be happy in a long term. They can be happy on a dailiy basis, but nothing more. Even if they got a spouse, job and etc it will be not enough for them, because they are empty bottomless vessels.

I suppose.  I mean right now she's doing nothing but Liking ALL of his photos and writing, "I MISS YOUUUU! c:! So Much!"  

On them, on instagram.

And I'm like ugh -.- This b*tch is actually happy?  She has no remorse?  :)oesnt even CARE she lied to me and cheated again?  REALLY?  SHE'S ACTUALLY HAPPY?  wow.

And it's tearing me apart.

[Blimblam]

No they can't be happy in a long term. They can be happy on a dailiy basis, but nothing more. Even if they got a spouse, job and etc it will be not enough for them, because they are empty bottomless vessels.

I suppose.  I mean right now she's doing nothing but Liking ALL of his photos and writing, "I MISS YOUUUU! c:! So Much!"  

On them, on instagram.

And I'm like ugh -.- This b*tch is actually happy?  She has no remorse?  :)oesnt even CARE she lied to me and cheated again?  REALLY?  SHE'S ACTUALLY HAPPY?  wow.

And it's tearing me apart.

Dude

I've been there. You know the truth though. Her happiness is fleeting and a thin veil on an ocean of pain.  It hurts. It hurts bad.  The fog is hard to let go of. It's like wanting her to be happy but not be happy but be happy with you.  It's you wanting to be happy with you.

I havnt gone on social media in months now it is just pure torture and besides it's fake.

You can't fill a bottomless pit.

[Algae]

No they can't be happy in a long term. They can be happy on a dailiy basis, but nothing more. Even if they got a spouse, job and etc it will be not enough for them, because they are empty bottomless vessels.

I suppose.  I mean right now she's doing nothing but Liking ALL of his photos and writing, "I MISS YOUUUU! c:! So Much!"  

On them, on instagram.

And I'm like ugh -.- This b*tch is actually happy?  She has no remorse?  :)oesnt even CARE she lied to me and cheated again?  REALLY?  SHE'S ACTUALLY HAPPY?  wow.

And it's tearing me apart.

Dude

I've been there. You know the truth though. Her happiness is fleeting and a thin veil on an ocean of pain.  It hurts. It hurts bad.  The fog is hard to let go of. It's like wanting her to be happy but not be happy but be happy with you.  It's you wanting to be happy with you.

I havnt gone on social media in months now it is just pure torture and besides it's fake.

You can't fill a bottomless pit.

Honestly.  To be totally frank with you... I'm a total wreck right now seeing her just as happy as can be.  Posting pictures of her being out and about smiling with this random guy she barely even knows.  And she's not doing it to get under my skin either because she blocked me from literally everything.  She legitimately thinks she is happy and its making me a totaly wreck, thinking hot someone could have zero empathy of what they did.

Now all her profiles say, ":)ISNEY LOVER!  RELIGIOUS!  LUTHERAN!"  

Which also hurts... not because I oppose religious... in fact I'm Christian myself but it's just the fact that when I was with her... she DESPISED God and always told me how much she HATED Disney and HATED God and was Agnostic.  So I'm here wondering, what the hell?

I feel as if I should be out taking happy pictures of my own but I can't find the strength.  I just need a good rant but I don't know where to start.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't want her to message me, but it would just be for the gratification of knowing that she actually missed out on something and is sorry.  To actually not feel like I'm crazy to think that all of this ISN'T normal for her to be acting like this.

It's been since August 18th that she's been gone and I don't see it letting up anytime soon.  She's continuing to be fake and Yes it bothers me.  And I know many people will say, "Youre lucky!  Go Live!  Pity the replacement!"  I just can't I'm sorry.  I can't find the strength right now.  I can't get over the thought of how she could just think she did nothing wrong... and is all good and religious now, when she did what she did to me.