How do I Tell her she's BPD?

[Algae]

At the moment I'm N/C... and she is really starting to show signs that she WILL reach out again.

And if she reaches out, Ill probably ignore her for a good few days.  And if she CONTINUES to reach out then I know she's trying.  I'll probably say, "What".  And I'll probably tell her that if she wants to apologize to meet me in person, and all I want to do is to tell her how messed up she is... give her 100 articles saying that she is BPD ( I really don't know how I should go about telling her I think she is BPD... but I KNOW SHE IS for a fact)...

How do I go about telling her that I'm 100% sure she's BPD without her going into denial and painting me black.  

Most people when they hear that they're Bipolar or something from a person whos not a professional... they just shrug it off as, "okay, maybe I am but it doesnt matter.".  They end up not taking it seriously.  how can I get her to take it seriously.

Do I present her with printed articles that she won't even look at?  

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[enlighten me]

Hi Algae

Unless she has shown concern about her behaviour in the past or outright asks you what is wrong with her then you telling her will have no affect. All it will do is paint you black and then be used by her to show that you are the one with a problem.

We all want to be able to do this and to show we care and want to help them but sometimes there is nothing you can do but stand back and watch the train wreck happen.

By biding your time and not confronting her then maybe one day she will turn to you for help.

[Second Birth]

Sadly, I think the odds of you "being heard" are slim unless you are willing to put the future of the relationship "on the line".  In my own experience, my husband was only willing to sober up when I refused to continue our dating relationship if he didn't.  He did.  We eventually married but I knew something was hopelessly wrong and urged him to seek out counselling.  It was only after leaving and starting divorce proceedings that he was hospitalized and diagnosed... .bipolar.  I've come to realize that he is surely BPD but he still hasn't been diagnosed and we've been married 34 years.  I am hoping that an article I gave his psychiatrist just last week from this website might tip him off about the BPD to better support my husband.

[Mono No Aware]

Don't.

Only a therapist that your pwBPD trusts could broach that.

I phrase it as her "emotional upheavals", and I continually express calmly my wish for her to go to therapy where with luck she would be diagnosed.