Trying

[justmenmycoffee]

I was with my ex for 9 yrs... .I admit i broke up with her for a couple of reasons the main one was i was i found out life changing info and i needed time to think and the other reason was she was very rarely sexual with me... On the outside looking in we were perfect we would go out everyone thought we were hot and heavy even after 9 yrs... she told me very early on that she was bulimic and i tried to help but i realized she would just wait until i fell asleep(had to get up early for work) to handle her bulimia also i am very nosey and would call her out everytime i caught her... anyway... .We break up but we still live together... She immediately goes back to her ex boyfriend(mind u i am a woman) and lets him take nearly nude pics of her for his "album cover" then she takes a trip and randomly has sex with a guy who was getting married and when she told me i didnt react so she said that wasnt the reaction she was looking for... .the next guy she sleeps with is a 22yr old starwars collector(she is 32) who she played in a band with and i recently found out she had long ago began a emotional relationship with him before we broke up... .Once she told me she was with this kid i flipped out because she was not into sex at all told me at the end the reason she stopped having sex with me is because it reminded her of being molested but when i was trying to move on said any girl would be lucky to have sex with me and what if my new girl wouldnt let me talk to her blah blah anyway i called and threatened the kid after that she tells me she needs to have some time so she was gonna go to her mom in another state... I admit this is wrong but my instincts were tingling so i looked at her email and found out when she was really leaving... .She slept in my bed that night ofcourse no sex and got up and blatantly lied and said she was leaving a whole day early so she could stay with her boytoy who thinks im abusive i confronted(yelled alot) her and she said "she lives in a fantasy world"  duh her whole life is a fantasy anyway she leaves goes whereever and then when she finally reaches her mom she contacts me only to say we cant live together blah blah ofcourse i try reconcile with her but my replacement was already in place... She has her mom email me the "terms" about shared apt and car... .I got stuck with the rent... .So she comes picks up her things a month later and a day earlier than the email says and she was buisness like just like when i was trying to reconcile very cold and clinical... .Anyway she says she will be in touch... .I log into social media and there is a pic of her and my replacement shoe shopping together so i flip out again and call her and threaten them both ... .Anyway after that she moved cross country changed her number and the replacement has been out to see her atleast once while she is jn a new old man band pretending i dont exist after 9 yrs and im still dyin inside even though i dont want to be with her... .Im so angry at her but im trying to heal