knowing the replacement.

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

The day my ex left me she came home and told me that she just slept with a girl that I dated. you would think this would crushed me ,but with everything this girl did to me at that moment I did not even care. I did tell her please don`t get involve with this girl because she is not strong enough to handle you. well I just found out that they are together.

I am really thinking that they will just be with anybody to not be alone.

do they even care who they get with?

the more I think back I don`t even think she cared about me.

[ajr5679]

The day my ex left me she came home and told me that she just slept with a girl that I dated. you would think this would crushed me ,but with everything this girl did to me at that moment I did not even care. I did tell her please don`t get involve with this girl because she is not strong enough to handle you. well I just found out that they are together.

I am really thinking that they will just be with anybody to not be alone.

do they even care who they get with?

the more I think back I don`t even think she cared about me.

[ReluctantSurvivor]

I think it depends on the pwBPD.  Each case is individually unique.  I think it seems to be common that pwBPD crave companionship.  I know that my exBPDgf had gotten involved with less than optimal partners in the past. I think that the lonliness, in her case, allowed her to couple with these people.  She also did have a few relationships with genuinely good people.  I think that she cared about the good ones.  I know that despite everything she is still caring towards me but in a different capacity while some of her ex's she truely despises.

At the end of each day I just remind myself that trying to put ordered labels onto a disordered person just doesn't work.

[purpleavocado]

My BPDex has a history of dating literally anyone who will give her the time of day. Typically they're people who use her right back which I've always found kind of strange. It's like she needs to find other crazy people to prove she isn't as crazy as she seems. You're right, they just can't be alone. The cycle she went through with you will continue over and over again until she addresses it, if that ever happens.

[Aussie0zborn]

I agree with you. While everyone is different, my observation of the forum and my experience leads me to believe that... .

1. they will just be with anybody so as to not be alone.

2. they don't care who they get with as long as that person validates them in some way or has something to offer them. My replacement is a hot headed thug with a very low steroid affected IQ making him good to use as a weapon if need be. He looks like the Addams Family's Uncle Fester on steroids with multiple deep scars on his face and head and sounds dopier than Dopey, if that's possible.

3. they never really cared about us but that's not because of who we are - its because they are not programmed like us. Theirs is a programme of emotional survival.

Accepting this made it easy to move on and purge her toxic poison from my system.

[ajr5679]

 the last time she left me was for her ex and I always had a hard time with her leave me to go back to her. but this time I don`t know if I want to laugh or scream because  she is not my exs type. do they really have a type?

the reason why I want to scream is because if she will be with this girl then she did the same thing to me. maybe I was not what she wanted.

[Deeno02]

Yep. Her husband walked out (iwonder why?) I was the replacement. Well, then this went ass up and now my replacement is an old college buddy who lives in the same town. Hmm, I know shes not going to be the same way she was in college. Not my problem. Hope he's smarter than me!

[blissful_camper]

the last time she left me was for her ex and I always had a hard time with her leave me to go back to her. but this time I don`t know if I want to laugh or scream because  she is not my exs type. do they really have a type?

the reason why I want to scream is because if she will be with this girl then she did the same thing to me. maybe I was not what she wanted.

My ex had a type.  The type was a woman who would tolerate it. Throughout the r/s I felt like I was being tested.  With each test he raised the bar higher.  About a year into the r/s, one day he admitted that he had been testing me all along.  I was passing those tests. (Oh joy! Test me some more!) I think that I was supposed to feel "special" that he was testing me, and relieved and grateful that I was "passing." (Maybe I was supposed to thank him.) I felt none of those things. It was hurtful. I went "off-script" and asked him "what happens if you don't meet my criteria for a partner?"  While he didn't have an answer, it put an end to the testing.

I wasn't his type.