This is the 3rd recycle from your title. What was the outcome of the last 2? Are you wanting help to stop the cycle?
Actually it's the second recycle and the third time we get together, was a bit worked up when I made the thread and . But anyway the outcome was always the same, it always ends with her having some reason to leave me. Either I'm a "cheater" or otherwise painted pitch black or she gets depressed and blames it on me.
Then she typically runs off to another man, or men for that matter, and then when she had her fun she comes back to me claiming that I was always the one. This time is a bit different in that she's still in love with someone else, this is a first for me. She's always been totally honest about it though, so I guess that's something... .
Since my previous post a lot has happened, she did sleep with him in the mean time and spent the night at his place. I sensed at that time she was doing it and I completely lost it. I kept calling her, I think more than a hundred times, trying to prevent it from happening but to no avail... .Needless to say this hurt like hell and I was seriously considering day after to cut her out of my life again. Of course she called again and I agreed upon meeting her to talk, she came back home with home and we're 'back together' since.
Now last sunday we went out, both got drunk and had a huge fight. She punched me in the face several times and I'm at work right now with a huge black eye, unable to explain this to my colleagues of course. After the fight I just left and went home, she took a cab to the town where her other lover lives, called him a few times and by some miracle his phone was off so they didn't end up together. She did end up at some random dude's place who kept giving her wodka while she was already in a stupor but nothing happened and she fell asleep on his couch.
So where we're at now; she says now she she completely chooses for me, that her feelings for the other guy are a lot less and diminishing every day, even though he's still calling her daily. I told her I don't like that and I want him out of our life at least for some time as I'm tired of talking and thinking about that guy. She told me she wants to get a new number so we'll see if she goes through with it.
She is getting therapy, she knows and says she's sick and she's no good to people but can't help herself and wants to change and wants to live a decent life with a good man. She also wants to quit drinking as she knows that this makes her lose all control and makes her promiscuous. All this sounds like sweet music in my ears of course but this time I'm having a much harder time to just believe and trust her. I mean next time she's drunk I'll have to go through this hell again but I do love her and always did and some part of me wants to believe that this time it'll be different.
So to answer your question, do I want the cycles to stop? I don't know, most of all I want things to work out for us one way or another but at the same time I'm wondering when will enough be enough?
