I am constantly up and down

[bungenstein]

Its been 9 months since I got away.

I seem to be one moment full of enthusiasm and drive, and the next moment I wish I wasn't even conscious.

Is this normal?

Isn't this a characteristic of BPD?

[Nicolai]

Depends... Are you a BPD or a BPD sufferer?

[Rise]

Hey bungentstein,

Sorry to read about what you're going through. Sometimes what you're experiencing is just part of the healing process for some of us. A lot of people assume that it's a simple step by step, linear process. It's not. Most of us have good days and bad days. We go through several of the stages of grief only to come back to one we thought we had already gone through. It's okay. If there's one thing we should all learn from our experiences with a pwBPD, it's that emotions aren't logical. We feel how we feel, and that's okay.

If you feel like you're getting stuck in your healing and not moving forward at all, I'd really consider talking to a therapist (if you aren't already). Sometimes we need a bit of a push in getting through some of the harder parts of healing, and a therapist can really help with that.

Things may be rough right now, but it doesn't have to be that way forever.

Best luck,

Rise

[bungenstein]

I am not BPD. Thanks Rise, I guess thats what I'm looking for, that this will end, I've never experienced what I'm going through before in my life, its not me, its totally foreign, and I don't know how to make it end.

[Hopeless777]

I am not BPD. Thanks Rise, I guess thats what I'm looking for, that this will end, I've never experienced what I'm going through before in my life, its not me, its totally foreign, and I don't know how to make it end.

Don't get down on yourself. I went 72 days NC, then the lawyer stuff started in earnest two weeks ago and I'm right back at Day 1, heartbroken still, and again, and again. 28 years with the same woman and I'm devastated. I feel for you!