We did get discarded like lambs to the slaughter,

[jammo1989]

The pedalstool you once put me on felt so secure, It was like an angel from heaven had fallen down and finally opened that door

but little did I know, that deep down inside you were fighting your own war, that abandoned child that felt trapped and insecure

And throughout this ordeal all i saw was a power struggle, but now i finally know you were just reaching out to me for a cuddle

and looking back maybe I should have avoided the puddle, but I cant help my empathy when I see that others are in trouble

It kinda reminds me of an earth quake victim, because i could only see half of you, but my brain was still telling me to go clear the rubble

People would tell me something wasn't right about you, but you still made me feel so special and protected in our little bubble

I swear to God when it came to you my love was unstoppable, because you mirrored me to believe that I was the ONE for you

and I did everything a boyfriend was supposed to, paid for everything, and made sure you were were never singing the blues

But then you started to change, you started have this short fuse, and I couldn't understand how I all of a sudden overnight I became bad news

all of this push and pull behaviour, made me feel I was no longer that life saver, I was now crowned your evil parent, that back stabbing traitor

When i got those last words never talk to me again James i, I had to stay strong, fake a smile and all i could  say was ok see you later

But then i started to research and became my own investigator, i came across this web site and things started to change 2 months later

In theory, we were looking after what we once perceived as our own daughter, this was our emotional responses to an adult with a disorder

And yeah we did get discarded like lambs to the slaughter, but we cant lead a horse to water, and expect it to drink, because thats not what life taught her

I just hope you can all relate this emotional poetry, stay no contact and set yourselves free, because at the end of the day when it comes to BPD im glad... .

Its not me!  


 



   

[bunnysc]

Man... .jammo thats incredible. I just feel so connected to all that. I am speechless

Thanks

[jammo1989]

Thank you Bunnysc, im really glad you could relate to the poem, It really does describe our journeys into the unknown, and how we emotionally respond to these kinds of situations as healthy, caring adults, I tried to portray my emotions, but im sure everyone of this forum can relate to it to.

[bunnysc]

Sure! It gives me strength to move on  . My biggest deal now is that she lives like 300ft from my house basically in front so it s&^cks  having to see her or family members every day ... . Heck I even here the dmn dogs barking ... .I just want to move out  . But its not the thing to do I guess... .Any ideas?   how would you guys deal with this

[Deeno02]

I dont know Bunnysc. I live a couple blocks from my Bpdgf. She also coaches my son for VB. So far i havent had any sightings, but i practice what to do. Im hoping to never run into her except for VB. Still to new for me to go out as i am not strong enough to handle a sighting. I suggest just putting on the best face possible and act like all is cool, easier said than done, i know.

[bunnysc]

Thanks Deeno, actually I just met her dad... He said hi to me like if nothing happened after all the crap this girl did... I guess she manipulates her family the same way as if everything was great just that the relationship was over. He said hi, I said hi but from my part I wasn't expressive at all ... He did felt strange cause obviously I was not the same as before... I know maybe they don't have nothing to do in the business but I just want to protect myself and well being... .I just don't want to say hi every time I meet them... I guess I will just pretend like they are not there.

[Deeno02]

Yep. It stinks in my case cuz she had 5 kids i had grown to love like my own. Never got to say good bye to them and it kills me.

[bunnysc]

Yep. It stinks in my case cuz she had 5 kids i had grown to love like my own. Never got to say good bye to them and it kills me.

Never got to say good bye to them and it kills me

My respect to you Deeno  ... .THAT ^^ says so much about you and just how great of a person you are 

[Blimblam]

Thanks for sharing the poem jammo. It really hit home

I have found poetry and prose a healthy way to process a lot of the internal chaos in a satisfying way.

[rizi78]

Nice poem Jammo really relates to my story my ex really put me to slaughter i have been having NC for last six months but recently she is contacting me through fake fb id but i am not giving into her keeping myself at bay .

[jammo1989]

Nice poem Jammo really relates to my story my ex really put me to slaughter i have been having NC for last six months but recently she is contacting me through fake fb id but i am not giving into her keeping myself at bay .

Do not respond, you hold the power now not her, she is in her abandoned child right now (Google shema therapy) shes at her most vulnerable and is contacting you because she feels all alone and depressed, it has nothing to do with her having any emotions towards you, its solely for attention, when someone gives her the attention from elsewhere she will leave you alone.  Shes looking for a parent not a bf remember that, she wants you to take care of her as if it was your own daughter, If this is confusing to you, I can explain it all in further detail.

[bunnysc]

Sorry , i just have to post again on how great this poem is, makes me feel great and motivates me to keep moving  . Lately I've been painted kinda white texts etc... We have to be strong