Was your ex in treatment for BPD? Did it make a difference?

[kc sunshine]

Mine was, and I think it made a difference in our relationship (we could talk about it, try to come up with strategies, etc) but not so much in our break up (that's when I felt the illness in full force-- the intractability of the black/white thinking, the victim/blaming, and the intense anger parts of it in particular). If I brought up the possibility that BPD stuff was playing a role in our interaction at that point, it would make her more angry. What was your experience?

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[freedom33]

Mine was in therapy for 10+ years. She never acknowledged she had BPD. She would blame me for everything. Did it make a difference? I don't know I can't imagine how worse she was 10 years ago. Perhaps she used to rage often before? Now she didn't rage often - only on a few occasions throwing things etc - but she would hold her anger and then engage in punishing, vindictive behaviours. So perhaps therapy taught her to appear more functional than she really is, in effect more dangerous.

[kc sunshine]

Wow, yes that makes sense.

Mine was in therapy for 10+ years. She never acknowledged she had BPD. She would blame me for everything. Did it make a difference? I don't know I can't imagine how worse she was 10 years ago. Perhaps she used to rage often before? Now she didn't rage often - only on a few occasions throwing things etc - but she would hold her anger and then engage in punishing, vindictive behaviours. So perhaps therapy taught her to appear more functional than she really is, in effect more dangerous.

[MissyM]

It has made a difference for my dBPDh.  He has been diagnosed with BPD and is in many different kinds of  therapy, as well as 12 step recovery.  He is dysregulated less often and able to calm himself down more quickly than before.  Only time will tell if he is going to stay with this or not.

[waverider]

Keep in mind the more YOU learn about BPD the more you see how it influences all areas of your life that you were previously oblivious to. You loose your innocence and along with that can come a feeling of hopelessness.

It is important to be able to look back at where you came from with discernible benchmarks in order to judge progress.

It is also good to be able to enjoy the process and dont have a win/lose mentality based on total "cure". Learning to live with and manage a RS were dysfunctionality is a factor is important.

It is a genuine disability and not just a collection of passing bad habits