Emergencey hearing Not an option?

[Iforget]

I met with my lawyer yesterday to discuss our next step.  After the first mediation conference stbx and lawyer won't set another date for a conference, won't even respond to my lawyer's emails and phone calls.  My back story is stbx cut me off completely from any money and we are still living together as he won't leave and I don't have the money.  three minor children involved.  At first my lawyer said not to leave, I wanted to live with family last summer till spousal/child support was put in place. That is no longer an option.  stbx is now saying he won't pay copays for meds and dr.'s visits or any other expense I may have.  I have numerous health issues.  Meds run around $200/month.  I told the lawyer all this was going to happen.  She finally believes me. 

My question.  Lawyer says to cash out my IRA, only money in my name, and move out.  This money would only last about 5 months if I'm really tight. She can than go to court to request support.  I asked why she couldn't do an emergency hearing.  She says that isn't an option. She said it would take 60 to 90 days to get a court date. We live in Virginia.  I searched in internet and couldn't find any info.  I would really appreciate advice, suggestions.  I'm amazed at the lack of info in the internet about this type of situation. 

[ForeverDad]

Number 1 priority... .The children stay with you or go with you, whatever else happens.  You don't want to weaken any parenting or caregiving status you have.

Can you go to the court and ask the clerk what options they have available?  What do they tell a spouse when the other spouse has control of all the money?

By the way, he can't cancel your medical insurance duuring a divorce case.  After a divorce is final then he can inform his insurance carriers and they have a process to unwind your coverage from his and offer you COBRA coverage.  And court can order him to continue covering the children if that is what you want.

I recall when my now-ex and I separated, it was the end of October.  We were in and out of a couple courts for a few months.  Family court dismissed both our motions against each other in February, actually ex's motion was dismissed when she withdrew her motion and mine was dismissed by the magistrate.  My ex's case in municipal court was dismissed in late March when she was found not guilty of Threat of DV since the judge did not consider them 'imminent' death threats per case law.

I had put off filing for divorce because I hoped she might reconcile.  (Yes, cases like ours don't succeed at real reconciliation unless the other is deep in progressing therapy.)  Well, I filed just before the last case was ended, by then she had been blocking my father-child contact for a month.  My court's docket was slow, probably like yours, the initial hearing for the temp order was nearly two months away.  By the time we had the hearing I hadn't had contact with my son, not even phone calls, for 3 months.

As I wrote above, make sure the kids are with you.  If you believe they are best with you, then act accordingly.  You may ask why I couldn't see my preschooler for 3 months?  She had physical possession when family court cut us loose and so she refused all contact and efforts for exchanges.  Police were no help, they told me to come back with a court order.  In my case, I was told we both had parental rights but they were unspecified.  So no one would help me see him.  And the police told me that though they wouldn't accompany me to her door as witnesses or protection to see my son, if I went there and she then called the police they would come rushing.  I didn't want to risk getting arrested just for trying to see my son, so I had to wait on court.  It made me ask myself why I waited so long.  Inaction sure hadn't helped me.

[Iforget]

I sent stbx an email telling him that if a mediation conference wasn't set in four working days then I was directing my attorney to take legal action.  He emails me back that he didn't know about any attempt to set a conference date.  That he said he was available at any time.  He is so caught in this lie.  He was yelling at me last week, telling me I was crazy if I thought I would get that kind of money out of him.  He was referring to the letter my attorney had sent his attorney requesting spousal support AND a conference date.  So he threw his lawyer under the bus.  I can't wait till we have this discussion during conference.  I am going ahead with my plans to move out.  I just don't understand why it was abandonment before and isn't now. 

Forever dad, I am going to take your advice and talk to the court clerk.  I am not sure I trust my lawyer to really tell me all my options.