NC broken

[VistaView]

Hello Family,

I posted here a few days ago saying I felt like I had broken NC due to a spam message that was inadvertenly sent to my BPD exes email.  When I posted, I did not know if she had actually gotten the email because I had not heard from her.  Well, today, I get a response from her saying she got the email.  She went on to say for me to continue to take care of myself and ended it with "friends", then signed her name.  Really? Friends?  I caught her cheating with another man who is now the replacement.

I have been strict NC since that night, for 3.5 months now and I feel like this little exchange with her has broken it.  My response to her response was, I did not send that email to you, if you see any other email(s) with my address attached, it is not from me.  I kept it right down the middle, simple and plain.  I was tempted to let loose on her for her lack of remorse for her infidelity, but I did not want to give her the satisfaction of seeing how upset I still am in the face of her being calm and labeling us as friends.  I'm not sure if this label is her attempt at playing head games or if she really feels she did nothing wrong.  I plan to continue with NC but advice or opinions are welcomed... .

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

You gave her the satisfaction of a response but it doesn't matter.  As they say on here - take care of yourself.  Her life continues with zero growth and more replacements and various screwball triangulations. Yours will continue and improve.

[VistaView]

@Mr.Confused... I felt I had to respond because I did not want HER to think I was trying to get her to re-engage by sending a ridiculous spam message.  I have no problem at all resuming NC, thankfully, it is not a struggle. I just wanted to keep my NC intact with no interruption. Thx for your reply.

[OutOfEgypt]

@Mr.Confused... I felt I had to respond because I did not want HER to think... .*snip*... .

Hey man, this is where you need to let go.  Let go of trying to manage what she thinks and feels.  It wasn't your job to begin with, and it definitely isn't your job now.

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

Out if egypt has a great point... youre not going to want to hearbthis

but... The not wanting her to think you want her back ect ect... .

Is a form of control. youre wanting to control... .

Bc honestly if you were truly over the games it wouldnt matter either way.

You dont need to prove to her youre over it ... .or have your power...

you just need to know that for yourself and you will...

the moment she stops affecting you.

you ll get through it. i know its hard

[Aussie0zborn]

She certainly seized the opportunity to leave the door open for a later recycle if things don't work out with the new guy. Remember that pwBPD have no remorse and life goes on for them as if you had never existed and no matter how much emotional damage they do.

pwBPD always need to feel wanted and so keeping exes and "futures" in a holding pattern ensure  they never run out if supply.

You need to block her email address, etc etc. Don't worry about this stuff-up, NC goes on. Good luck.

[VistaView]

Thanks Aussie... .You and the others are absolutely right.  I needed an interpretation of her labeling us as friends.  You know, sometimes when you're in it, you can't see straight.  But on another note, I awoke to an email today of her adding me to her friends list on Google+, and the ironic thing is I deleted my Google account yesterday (before she added me) and blocked her email address.

I changed my number a few months ago, she does not know it yet, I don't think.  But I am not going to respond to her Google request or anything else.  Thank God for this board and everyone on it.  If I didn't know about BPD, triangulation, etc, I would have taken the re-engagement bait hook, line and sinker.

But it's empowering now to watch her game playing in real time and know exactly how to deal with it.  I'm sure she will up the ante on my NC since my birthday is in 2 weeks.  She will seize it as the perfect opportunity to try something else.  I feel she is trying to line herself up slowly to re-engage fully on that day, but we'll see. Again, thanks for your replies... .

[VistaView]

I forgot to add that I am done with being in a relationship with her.  Had enough of the BPD usual traits.  I can never trust her again.  The simple fact that she is trying to re-engage while she is with the guy she replaced me with speaks volumes... .