Tonight i am really missing my ex.

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

Tonight I am really missing my ex. 

I have 4 guys trying to talk to me and I cant get this guy out if my head.

I’m not going to look at his social media or contact but am worried about a possibility since I’m sincerely missing him for the first time since he walked out of my apt with ease. 

I’m in love with who i thought he was.  in all actuality he may be a pedophile and def lacks empathy. Still its hard.  Anyone else feel ib this right now?  Missin the dream if who they pretended to be?

Even two responses would be helpful to get me through this hump. 

He doesnt care about me.  I remember going to his house to beg him back even if he was at fault for the argument bc I believed we were meant and I was willing to fight for him. I cared so much took him back over and over bc I had faith he was actually a good person.   

Yet he so easily walks away and never really tried for me.  What was I thinking?

I have guys chasing me all the time why was I hung up on some guy who prefers a fantasy over the real thing?   I feel shame and anger towards myself.

[Tiepje3]

I know EXACTLY how you're feeling. You're not alone in this. I recognise the 'dull ache', the constant nagging feeling of something missing. In all likelihood it is being in a relationship we're missing because really... .what loving partner would do the things they've done to their spouse?

If you feel like you're missing him again, focus on the bad stuff! I know you'd rather reminisce about the lovely times you've had but do yourself a favour and focus on the bad parts.

And I leave you with a funny quote: I miss being in a relationship. Can one of you guys come over, yell at me, be and a$$hole and not sleep with me? It might help.

Stay Strong! One day at a time.

[Deeno02]

Heres my journal entry for today: a month and a half into B/U after 1 and 1/2 year relationship. 20 days NC. Its been hit and miss on feelings:

Journal: feeling sad. I wish I knew she cared. Deep down I know she doesn't/didn't because she moved on with another. Quickly. Hard to comprehend. Feel alone, empty, not sure where my path will take me. Not sure how to handle seeing her. Not sure why I didn't matter enough or why she didn't feel loved enough. Couldn't love her anymore then I did. I know it's part of the illness, but it doesn't help. She was so cold and so mean. Not a glimmer of love we may have shared. Just cold, detached. Mean. Bothers me and I can't/won't reach out. I don't dare. I have a better understanding, but it does nothing to take away the pain and emptiness. I realize the illness, but it does nothing to make me feel that what we had was real.  My relationship was nothing but filler. Her final "I know what I want now" crushed me. Wow.

It was so overpowering that I thought I was going to vomit. It takes a toll on us. More than it does on them. Hang tough... .

[pieceofme]

today is day 17 of NC for me. the past few days, i've lost the feeling of wanting to talk to him. yet, i miss him immensely. what's worse, i've realized how replaceable i was to him. he's carrying on with a new girl, head over heels in love... .i see him tagging her on social media posts, just like he used to do to me. i realize it doesn't matter who it is, as long as someone is by his side. when all i want is HIM by my side. deeno, my ex told me the same, "i know what i want in a companion" and listed all the ways it wasn't me - one of the most hurtful things he's ever said. it may be the illness speaking, but i don't know why he had to go the extra mile to completely destroy me and my faith in love. hurtbeyondrepair, i have several guys trying to talk to me, too, and i'm not the least bit interested. i'm even bothered by their attempts.

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

Tonight i am really missing my ex.  i have 4 guys trying to talk

to me and im cant get this guy out if my head.

im not going to look at his social media or contact... i think...

but worried about a possibility since im sincerely missing him

for the first time since he walked out of my apt with ease.

im in love with who i thought he was...

in all actuality he may be a pedophile and def lacks empathy.

still its hard.

anyone else feelib this right now?

missin the dream if who they pretended to be?

even two responses would be helpful to

get me through this hump.

he doesnt care about me...

I remember going to his house to beg him back

even if he was at fault for the argument bc i believed

we were meant and i was willing to fight for him...



i cared so much took him back over and over bc i had faith he

was actually a good person.

yet he so easily walks away and never really tried for me

what the heck was i thinking? i have guys chasing me

all the time why was i hung up on some guy

who prefers a fantasy over the real thing?

i feel shame and anger towards myself.

Heres my journal entry for today: a month and a half into B/U after 1 and 1/2 year relationship. 20 days NC. Its been hit and miss on feelings:

Journal: feeling sad. I wish I knew she cared. Deep down I know she doesn't/didn't because she moved on with another. Quickly. Hard to comprehend. Feel alone, empty, not sure where my path will take me. Not sure how to handle seeing her. Not sure why I didn't matter enough or why she didn't feel loved enough. Couldn't love her anymore then I did. I know it's part of the illness, but it doesn't help. She was so cold and so mean. Not a glimmer of love we may have shared. Just cold, detached. Mean. Bothers me and I can't/won't reach out. I don't dare. I have a better understanding, but it does nothing to take away the pain and emptiness. I realize the illness, but it does nothing to make me feel that what we had was real.  My relationship was nothing but filler. Her final "I know what I want now" crushed me. Wow.

It was so overpowering that I thought I was going to vomit. It takes a toll on us. More than it does on them. Hang tough... .

Thank you so much for sharing that!

I can tell you really loved yer and youre very hurt...

thats how i used to be with him... .i dont feel the deep lofe

anymore... Just the dullbache. thank god forbthat bc those were

the most painfulr times. i feel your pain in that entry.

at least we are not alone

Tonight i am really missing my ex.  i have 4 guys trying to talk

to me and im cant get this guy out if my head.

im not going to look at his social media or contact... i think...

but worried about a possibility since im sincerely missing him

for the first time since he walked out of my apt with ease.

im in love with who i thought he was...

in all actuality he may be a pedophile and def lacks empathy.

still its hard.

anyone else feelib this right now?

missin the dream if who they pretended to be?

even two responses would be helpful to

get me through this hump.

he doesnt care about me...

I remember going to his house to beg him back

even if he was at fault for the argument bc i believed

we were meant and i was willing to fight for him...

i cared so much took him back over and over bc i had faith he

was actually a good person.

yet he so easily walks away and never really tried for me...

what the heck was i thinking? i have guys chasing me

all the time why was i hung up on some guy

who prefers a fantasy over the real thing?

i feel shame and anger towards myself.

Heres my journal entry for today: a month and a half into B/U after 1 and 1/2 year relationship. 20 days NC. Its been hit and miss on feelings:

Journal: feeling sad. I wish I knew she cared. Deep down I know she doesn't/didn't because she moved on with another. Quickly. Hard to comprehend. Feel alone, empty, not sure where my path will take me. Not sure how to handle seeing her. Not sure why I didn't matter enough or why she didn't feel loved enough. Couldn't love her anymore then I did. I know it's part of the illness, but it doesn't help. She was so cold and so mean. Not a glimmer of love we may have shared. Just cold, detached. Mean. Bothers me and I can't/won't reach out. I don't dare. I have a better understanding, but it does nothing to take away the pain and emptiness. I realize the illness, but it does nothing to make me feel that what we had was real.  My relationship was nothing but filler. Her final "I know what I want now" crushed me. Wow.

It was so overpowering that I thought I was going to vomit. It takes a toll on us. More than it does on them. Hang tough... .

today is day 17 of NC for me. the past few days, i've lost the feeling of wanting to talk to him. yet, i miss him immensely. what's worse, i've realized how replaceable i was to him. he's carrying on with a new girl, head over heels in love... .i see him tagging her on social media posts, just like he used to do to me. i realize it doesn't matter who it is, as long as someone is by his side. when all i want is HIM by my side. deeno, my ex told me the same, "i know what i want in a companion" and listed all the ways it wasn't me - one of the most hurtful things he's ever said. it may be the illness speaking, but i don't know why he had to go the extra mile to completely destroy me and my faith in love. hurtbeyondrepair, i have several guys trying to talk to me, too, and i'm not the least bit interested. i'm even bothered by their attempts. [/quote]
im not irritated by it bc the distraction is nice.

i get told im beautiful all the time... yet why cant i

find a normal guy who wants me? my exBPD even told

me if i wasnt so beautiful he would have broken up with me long ago... .

woow. Today is 11 days nc for me since he discarded me so easily.

dont look at social media! it makes it soo much worse!

iv been working out and my house is spotless... .Doing stuff

i was too depressed to do before.

i know what you mean about destroying your faith in love... .I am very

skeptical about it now... .which before i was a hopeless romantic.


im tellibg you right now not looking on social media helps a ton...

last time i tried nc when i was this far along i was still looking... (well time before last)

theb last time i didnt look and was feeling great... bso inbfollowibg that route again.

Its like a drug and everytime we look is a hit. and it breaksbour hearts

all over again f** that noise.

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

When he moved out i spent days crying... .i was so hurt just

the thought of it brings tears to my eyes... .the hurt.

while he says he ALMOST cried himself to sleep one night... .

how does one "almost" cry themselves to sleep?

wow what a creep.


i think thats why its just the dull ache now.

i literally cried out allbthat pain only for him to talk

like it was nothing he never loved me. not all... thinking

about that keeps me nc... .but italso hurts like no other.

bc i gave him everything... and i loved him so much.

[Climbmountains91]

I know how you feel. It seems every week its getting harder when it should be getting easier the constant pain every day, the constant fear of seeing him as we live in the same city and he's always in town. I just want him back in my life, i wanna talk to him, i want what we had and to be a family as we have a daughter. No contact for nearly three weeks now. I want to cook him breakfast, dinner, tea. I want to tidy up after him with his beer bottles every where ! Every morning i cry, im so sad how did it get like this, how did it come to this. I dont know if i can deal with n/c anymore. Gawd i miss him soo much  

Hugs. We can get through this, were all in it together!

[Deeno02]

The thought of her with the replacement, at her house, playing with her kids, sitting holding each other on the couch,  and in her room affects me more than I can tell. Just 30 days ago, that was me. The physical reaction is unbearable at times. I miss her. I really do. Im nothing to her.

[peiper]

Tonight I am really missing my ex. 

I have 4 guys trying to talk to me and I cant get this guy out if my head.

I’m not going to look at his social media or contact but am worried about a possibility since I’m sincerely missing him for the first time since he walked out of my apt with ease. 

I’m in love with who i thought he was.  in all actuality he may be a pedophile and def lacks empathy. Still its hard.  Anyone else feel ib this right now?  Missin the dream if who they pretended to be?

Even two responses would be helpful to get me through this hump. 

He doesnt care about me.  I remember going to his house to beg him back even if he was at fault for the argument bc I believed we were meant and I was willing to fight for him. I cared so much took him back over and over bc I had faith he was actually a good person.   

Yet he so easily walks away and never really tried for me.  What was I thinking?

I have guys chasing me all the time why was I hung up on some guy who prefers a fantasy over the real thing?   I feel shame and anger towards myself.

Im so with you. My ex really did a job on my head and my heart, but I still miss her even though she is living with the guy she cheated on me with after being married less then two months. And yes I feel shame and anger towards myself.

[hurting300]

We've all been there my friend. It hurts like hell. I still kinda miss mine... I'm mostly angry now.

[peiper]

We've all been there my friend. It hurts like hell. I still kinda miss mine... I'm mostly angry now.

Oh believe me I'm angry but it mixed with hurt and lots of pain.

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

I am about to have sex with a 10. time to move on. just thougt i would share.

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

Ok so i realized why im so stuck on my ex. i believed in love... and that fairtly tale i was a romantic.


the day my innocence died. 28 years old.

sad day.

he was beautiful and nice... .but im cool

im ok never seeing him again.

F* love.

its dead... .that little girl that piecr of innocence i was retaining gone.

its like learning santa claus isnt real.

[hurting300]

I am about to have sex with a 10. time to move on. just thougt i would share.

sex with a 10 is mind blowing. Lol

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

I am about to have sex with a 10. time to move on. just thougt i would share.

sex with a 10 is mind blowing. Lol

! it was aiight. i think its different for mem

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

Sex is def better with an emotional connection. my ex is probably a 4 or a5

when he tries. (by societys standards). he cannot cone close to this .

none the less. it was great sex... .but wish I

had the emtional connection...

i wish i could have a good relationshipbwith someone who isnt crazy.

and i wished i still believed in love right now.

[hurting300]

Sex is def better with an emotional connection. my ex is probably a 4 or a5

when he tries. (by societys standards). he cannot cone close to this .

none the less. it was great sex... .but wish I

had the emtional connection...

i wish i could have a good relationshipbwith someone who isnt crazy.

and i wished i still believed in love right now.

you can have all that. Just GO get it

[camuse]

I am about to have sex with a 10. time to move on. just thougt i would share.

Post of the year.

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

Sex is def better with an emotional connection. my ex is probably a 4 or a5

when he tries. (by societys standards). he cannot cone close to this .

none the less. it was great sex... .but wish I

had the emtional connection...

i wish i could have a good relationshipbwith someone who isnt crazy.

and i wished i still believed in love right now.

you can have all that. Just GO get it

thats very sweet

I am about to have sex with a 10. time to move on. just thougt i would share.

Post of the year.

Lol! a TEN. no lie.

[hurting300]

Sex is def better with an emotional connection. my ex is probably a 4 or a5

when he tries. (by societys standards). he cannot cone close to this .

none the less. it was great sex... .but wish I

had the emtional connection...

i wish i could have a good relationshipbwith someone who isnt crazy.

and i wished i still believed in love right now.

you can have all that. Just GO get it

thats very sweet

I am about to have sex with a 10. time to move on. just thougt i would share.

Post of the year.

Lol! a TEN. no lie.

my ex is a 9... wow... .Whew. I'm talking to an 8 now.

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

Sex is def better with an emotional connection. my ex is probably a 4 or a5

when he tries. (by societys standards). he cannot cone close to this .

none the less. it was great sex... .but wish I

had the emtional connection...

i wish i could have a good relationshipbwith someone who isnt crazy.

and i wished i still believed in love right now.

you can have all that. Just GO get it

thats very sweet

I am about to have sex with a 10. time to move on. just thougt i would share.

Post of the year.

Lol! a TEN. no lie.

my ex is a 9... wow... .Whew. I'm talking to an 8 now.

i dont think it willbgo anywhere... .but it helped my ego

a bit sounds shallow... but every bit counts when trying not to go back

[hurting300]

I needed an ego boost... .

[Hurtbeyondrepair27]

Go get one!

[hurting300]

Go get one!

oh I did