I'm going to be strong, I hope

[BrokenFamily]

It's been a month since my ex left, after almost 4 years an amazing happy life that we both loved it was over in an instant and the same week she began seeing a new guy. I did my best to be understanding, keep my sanity but she went in a relationship with him on FB and I was notified by many mutual friends since she's had me blocked, I cried more, begged pleaded and even contacted they guy only to push her further away and create more heartache and pain for myself. We have a 15 month old daughter who is dealing with her own fear of abandonment issues now and wants only me or only mommy after she's passed between houses. I had it in my head that this is an illness and I love both my ex and my daughter and I'm willing to put up with any amount of pain to get them back and us be a happy family again. I was kind supportive gave her rides, took the baby to the park together, bought her cigarettes, McDonald's, even helped her clean her room up, fixed her mothers sink and bought her flowers, I was hoping maybe she would see me as the good person she always has again and there were several moments she smiled and I could tell she missed me, she slipped up a few times and called me babe, she insisted she wasn't seeing my replacement again and she even said she once loved me more than she's even loved anyone but not a single sign of remorse or regret. The second she feels herself feeling anything for me she lashes out and goes right back to no contact and ignoring my texts. After a few good days of being friends I texted her "Hey" around 11 because I know she's a late sleeper, no response around 12 so I called only to find I've been blocked again, about an hour later she calls me back say Oh I was down stairs and my phone was upstairs, this is a lie because she never leaves her phone anywhere but whatever I was fine about it and asked how is she and the baby, I said I miss and love you both very much and she went off with the same, I don't love you, I don't want to be with you, it's been almost a month get over it move on I'm never going to be with you again. I cried, gave her examples of her erratic behavior and suggested she talk to someone about her anger and rage and she said it's all my fault and without me she's fine. I'm not going to be used and walked all over anymore, I'm going to be a good father, talk to her only about our daughter and do my best to recover from an abusive relationship that I loved more than anything in this world but always set me and my family back in life. I can only hope that once I'm not hurting anymore she don't decide she wants me back because I love her and would jump at the chance to be tortured, have someone make up lies about me and treat me like I'm a horrible person when I'm doing nothing but helping them and loving them. 

[BrokenFamily]