Somewhat in fear right now...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hiya All. Hope your all doing ok

Today a moment happened that i have dreaded since this whole NC thing began 1 month ago. Back just after the break up,when my ex and i were talking about re-kindling things once she was well again.I accidently bumped into a male friend of hers (well i say friend,they used to sleep together years back,i myself only found this out months before the break up happened) This fella still carries a bit of a torch for my ex,and is well known around town as a bit of a fighter/thug/hardman (the polar opposite of me)

Our "conversation" basically involved him threatening to kill me if i so much as harmed one hair on my exs head. He got quite a power trip out of this (i was an emotional wreck at the time,as it was just after the break up and i wasnt coping well)and he gave me the whole "this conversation never happened"routine as he smirked in my face.

Fast forward to the past few weeks,where my ex has been indulging in her slander campaign to cover her own back (as per my previous posts,she assaulted me then claimed i had done it to her to anyone that would listen) My main worry has been when it would get back to this guy. Who told me that night "you seem like a sound guy,but i will ALWAYS take her word over yours". Today as i sat up towards the back of my workplace i noticed him walk through the door of my shop on the CCTV. Realising quickly what may happen i darted into the stock room to hide. I text my workmate to let him know there was a possible situation and not to confirm to anyone i was there. After ten minutes i re-entered the shop and checked the CCTV footage. The man in question walked into the main part of the shop,spent a few moments scanning the place (particularly part of the front counter where my workmate was) looked briefly at one of the behind counter displays (while clearly eavesdropping on the conversation my workmate was having with a customer)then quickly left within the space of about two minutes. He had a very nasty scowl on his face as he left,which was caught by the main camera.

I will be honest i am really in fear right now. I know that if her lies have got back to him im in some very serious trouble indeed. This is a guy who will think nothing of beating me to a pulp without asking any questions. when i spoke to the police after my assault (when i was making my statement)i did mention i had been threatened by one of my ex's friends,but i didn't name him. Any advice right now would be greatfully appreciated guys as i really do not know the best way to go around protecting myself here

[Tom P]

Hiya All. Hope your all doing ok

Today a moment happened that i have dreaded since this whole NC thing began 1 month ago. Back just after the break up,when my ex and i were talking about re-kindling things once she was well again.I accidently bumped into a male friend of hers (well i say friend,they used to sleep together years back,i myself only found this out months before the break up happened) This fella still carries a bit of a torch for my ex,and is well known around town as a bit of a fighter/thug/hardman (the polar opposite of me)

Our "conversation" basically involved him threatening to kill me if i so much as harmed one hair on my exs head. He got quite a power trip out of this (i was an emotional wreck at the time,as it was just after the break up and i wasnt coping well)and he gave me the whole "this conversation never happened"routine as he smirked in my face.

Fast forward to the past few weeks,where my ex has been indulging in her slander campaign to cover her own back (as per my previous posts,she assaulted me then claimed i had done it to her to anyone that would listen) My main worry has been when it would get back to this guy. Who told me that night "you seem like a sound guy,but i will ALWAYS take her word over yours". Today as i sat up towards the back of my workplace i noticed him walk through the door of my shop on the CCTV. Realising quickly what may happen i darted into the stock room to hide. I text my workmate to let him know there was a possible situation and not to confirm to anyone i was there. After ten minutes i re-entered the shop and checked the CCTV footage. The man in question walked into the main part of the shop,spent a few moments scanning the place (particularly part of the front counter where my workmate was) looked briefly at one of the behind counter displays (while clearly eavesdropping on the conversation my workmate was having with a customer)then quickly left within the space of about two minutes. He had a very nasty scowl on his face as he left,which was caught by the main camera.

I will be honest i am really in fear right now. I know that if her lies have got back to him im in some very serious trouble indeed. This is a guy who will think nothing of beating me to a pulp without asking any questions. when i spoke to the police after my assault (when i was making my statement)i did mention i had been threatened by one of my ex's friends,but i didn't name him. Any advice right now would be greatfully appreciated guys as i really do not know the best way to go around protecting myself here

[fred6]

Hiya All. Hope your all doing ok

Today a moment happened that i have dreaded since this whole NC thing began 1 month ago. Back just after the break up,when my ex and i were talking about re-kindling things once she was well again.I accidently bumped into a male friend of hers (well i say friend,they used to sleep together years back,i myself only found this out months before the break up happened) This fella still carries a bit of a torch for my ex,and is well known around town as a bit of a fighter/thug/hardman (the polar opposite of me)

Our "conversation" basically involved him threatening to kill me if i so much as harmed one hair on my exs head. He got quite a power trip out of this (i was an emotional wreck at the time,as it was just after the break up and i wasnt coping well)and he gave me the whole "this conversation never happened"routine as he smirked in my face.

Fast forward to the past few weeks,where my ex has been indulging in her slander campaign to cover her own back (as per my previous posts,she assaulted me then claimed i had done it to her to anyone that would listen) My main worry has been when it would get back to this guy. Who told me that night "you seem like a sound guy,but i will ALWAYS take her word over yours". Today as i sat up towards the back of my workplace i noticed him walk through the door of my shop on the CCTV. Realising quickly what may happen i darted into the stock room to hide. I text my workmate to let him know there was a possible situation and not to confirm to anyone i was there. After ten minutes i re-entered the shop and checked the CCTV footage. The man in question walked into the main part of the shop,spent a few moments scanning the place (particularly part of the front counter where my workmate was) looked briefly at one of the behind counter displays (while clearly eavesdropping on the conversation my workmate was having with a customer)then quickly left within the space of about two minutes. He had a very nasty scowl on his face as he left,which was caught by the main camera.

I will be honest i am really in fear right now. I know that if her lies have got back to him im in some very serious trouble indeed. This is a guy who will think nothing of beating me to a pulp without asking any questions. when i spoke to the police after my assault (when i was making my statement)i did mention i had been threatened by one of my ex's friends,but i didn't name him. Any advice right now would be greatfully appreciated guys as i really do not know the best way to go around protecting myself here

This may not be the best advice for you. But if it was me, I would just go about my business and keep an eye out for any threats. I'm not a tough guy but I don't back down from people even if it means getting my A$$ handed to me. I would inform the guy to not put his hands on me and then deal with whatever he's going to do. If he assaults you(puts his hands on you)you have a right to defend yourself. If anything happens, I would immediately call the authorities and press charges. Like I said, this may not be the advice that you were looking for, but you shouldn't have to go around hiding and walking on eggshell for your ex or this goon.

[Infern0]

Easy to say but Tom isn't a fighter so he shouldn't be put in this predicament.

Tom,  in my opinion go to the police and get a restraining order put out on this guy. You can't reason with psychopathic thugs, the only thing that gets them to leave you alone is beating them to an inch of their lives, and if you aren't confident you can handle this guy then get the police involved.

[fred6]

Easy to say but Tom isn't a fighter so he shouldn't be put in this predicament.

Tom,  in my opinion go to the police and get a restraining order put out on this guy. You can't reason with psychopathic thugs, the only thing that gets them to leave you alone is beating them to an inch of their lives, and if you aren't confident you can handle this guy then get the police involved.

I agree with you. I was just saying what I would do. Although, I'm not the fighter type I don't like being bullied. I think that most people should stand up for themselves. You have to be in the mindset that if someone assaults you or attempts to, that you should act swiftly and harshly to protect yourself. Invest a few dollars in some pepper spray, that should even the odds. I'm not saying start a fight, just always be prepared to defend yourself. Not just in this situation, ALWAYS.

Having said that, I do agree with Infern0. If you feel you need to head this off with intervention by the authorities, that is the best bet. But sometimes that doesn't work with tough guy types.