My illness and attracting BPD, NPD and ASPD types due to phases of it.

[spemat]

I feel like being open about my illness or meeting people while manic tends to result in making a lot of cluster B friends depending on the manic mood and after I come out of that they are hard to get rid of and I get emotionally blackmailed, made to feel unloyal or berated as "not at the same level anymore" or stolen from.  I just wonder if the nastier, nonstop cycling untreated bipolar II types that are similar make them feel as if we are all at that level or something because those bipolar types are a nastier breed too.  I have been stable since 2007 but I don't understand why some think we have the same issues, others think my long winded bragging makes me one of them or my propensity to threaten and bully or commit crimes or use drugs in that state at times because I fear another mania and they last up to a year and when it ends, I often have to find a way away and I often will be publicly shamed as stupid or fake, or accused of nonsense for not being there.  ASPD types tend to leave but try to be slick scammers when they notice that I am not in that mindset anymore.  I deal with my issues but they could always come back and once I am high on mania, I was "never bipolar" etc and I am steamrolling and either project (like world peace or physics crap on the bermuda triangle etc.) oriented and I lose insight and I never own up to it until it goes mixed or I end up delusional and paranoid at the end before the crash.