How do i keep a healthy relationship with my girlfriend who has BPD ?
The following message board is more appropriate for this question:
[L5] Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner
I wish you the best with it, seriously.
Keeping a healthy relationship with a girlfriend who has BPD, WITHOUT destroying yourself in the process is not an easy task.
Is she or were she in therapy? How self aware is she of her disorder? How capable is she in containing and regulating her feelings and moods? How is your communication going, especially when she is triggered? Can she communicate her needs and be somewhat reasonable about it, or at least communicate she is unreasonable and needs to be left alone? If you cannot communicate while she is triggered, can you at least talk post-factum?
Except for therapy and infinite amounts of love and compassion you'll need to be able to establish healthy boundaries for yourself (YOUR boundaries not hers!), know how to validate her feelings without necessarily agreeing with them, and be able to communicate and get over the unending bumps on the road. I think that's the gist of it.
