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Author Topic: Mother in Law  (Read 383 times)
vballdiggy
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« on: October 30, 2014, 03:05:29 PM »

 

My Mother in Law is exhibiting signs of BPD.  My Counselor recommended that I read the book "Walking on Eggshells".  I just started and I'm a little overwhelmed.

My Husband & I are about to have our 3rd child & travel to stay with my In-Laws for 2 weeks for Christmas.  Her symptoms have seemed to get more aggressive & dramatic with our schedule & growing family. 

How do I enjoy her company & minimize the chaos.  I'm truly fearing the emotional roller coaster we have been on this year.  I really want/need it to stop. 

After starting the book... .I'm wondering if my new mental picture needs to be one of acceptance because it may never stop (she's 60 and has a serious issue with labels... .)  My Sister-In Law is on state assistance, but labeled as just having ADHD.  My Counselor says there has to be another diagnosis... .but it is a secret to everyone else in the family.  Even my Husband who will gain custody of her if his parents pass... .

My Husband's "former" family is truly blowing my mind... .

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Kwamina
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« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2014, 06:23:22 PM »

Hi vballdiggy Welcome

The title of the book you're reading really describes how many of us feel dealing with our BPD loved ones. Having to walk on eggshells all the time can be very stressful and frustrating. I am glad you are reaching out for support here and also have a counselor to help you deal with things.

Her symptoms have seemed to get more aggressive & dramatic with our schedule & growing family.

Could you tell us a bit more about your mother-in-law's behavior? What does she say and do that bothers you the most or that you find most difficult to deal with?

I'm wondering if my new mental picture needs to be one of acceptance because it may never stop (she's 60 and has a serious issue with labels... .)

The BPD won't go away but there are people with this disorder who have learned to better manage their difficult thoughts and emotions. However, for this to happen it is essential that they fully acknowledge their issues and commit to working on the them. Do you feel like your mother-in-law in any way has ever acknowledged that there's something wrong with her behavior?

 My Sister-In Law is on state assistance, but labeled as just having ADHD.  My Counselor says there has to be another diagnosis... .but it is a secret to everyone else in the family.  Even my Husband who will gain custody of her if his parents pass... .

How would you describe your sister-in-law's behavior? Do you suspect she might have BPD too?
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