Told uBPDwife I Want a Divorce

[ATLandon]

Hey folks. I just told my uBPDwife that I want a divorce and that I am not changing my mind about it. She is upset, though not nearly as upset as I expected (which is cause for concern itself). We both admitted to have cheated on each other throughout the relationship and she has always told me that if she ever found out I cheated it would be a deal-breaker. Now she's putting the blame all on me for my cheating and neglecting to remember hers, but then still wants us to stay together.

I'm worried since I didn't plan on telling her this soon. I haven't even spoken with a divorce lawyer yet, nor have I gotten copies of important financial documents and put them in a safe-deposit box. Looks like I know what I will be doing tomorrow.

Anyways, I know I'm doing the right thing and will stick to my guns but it hurts so bad to know that I genuinely am causing her a lot of pain and disruption to her life. She is doing everything in her power to guilt trip and shame me. I know she is only doing it out of pain and fear but it still cuts me. I just hate how bad things have gotten and how unwilling she is to let go of such a toxic relationship. I really am trying to do us both a favor. Hopefully she will see that one day.

[antonio1213]

Hey you are doing the best thing for you. If you both have been cheating on each other it seems like the real realationshiop was over a long time ago. I havnt been married or anything and I am pretty young. That being said from what I have heard, and witnessed (my mom has BPD and been divorced multiple times) divorces are terrible. So be prepared for hell.

She is going to be impacted by it just handle it differently than most. She is BPD they handle things differently, your lucky she didnt act out against you.