Moving on

[CareTaker]

I have been reading many posts, and it seems we basically are all on the same page. Whether it be the relationship, the abuse or the make up/break up. We all seem to share the same pain, and we all seem to get replaced within about 2 weeks.

Pity we can't put pics of the ex on this site, because our stories are so similar I wonder if we not just circulating the same women between us.

I am not going to repeat my whole experience here, but I would like to share my recovery.

Just shortly some detail. After a 3 year relationship, I finally decided to leave after I was attacked with the bread knife. Our relationship was such a mess, that we never had any sex for the last 2 months, prior to the attack. I was distressed, and my work was suffering big time. I realized I must get out, but never knew how.

Two months ago, I just left her flat. I realized this was an addiction worse than drugs, and I had to prepare for the withdrawal. Two weeks later she send an email, asking to meet for drinks. I just replied: No thank you. About two weeks later a mutual friend told me she has met this wonderful guy, and she has moved on. That kinda hurt, badly.

My plan of action: I deleted all our pics. Every single one. I threw all her gifts she gave me, (just a cheap aftershave and a few clothing) in the bin. I don't have facebook, but deleted all the contact numbers, email addresses and all the mail she had sent me. I basically erased her out my life. As for the mutual friend, good bye is was good knowing you.

Then the withdrawal set in and it was hell.

Looking back and I notice some change. For the last 6 months I been getting like a type of asthma. It recently starting clearing, and my chest doesn't feel so tight anymore. I can breathe normally again. Yesterday and today where the first time in probably 3 or 4 months that I woke up horny. Wow, I am recovering!

Apart from the mental abuse, your health takes a serious knock, and adds to your depression.

Evenings when I get into bed is the worst. I am alone in this dark room. Then I sit on my bed and pray to God. Ask Him to give me strength to fight this feeling I feel in my stomach. Ask for guidance and strength to get through the next day. That helped tremendously, and I will do this for the rest of my life.

Feeling my body heal, I know my emotions are healing as well. Yet, I am still fragile and have to take one day at a time.

Some positives I took out the relationship.

I broke up. She mailed, and I refused. That does give some strength and builds a bit of confidence. Seeing that I was always the one that went back, this time I never and I know she questions that in her mind, despite the fact that she has moved on. I left her guessing.

Something my therapist told me, that I found interesting. My ex never gave herself time to heal from our relationship. Not from any previous relationship. She is 34 and never had a relationship longer than a year. Ours was the longest, 3 years. She is carrying that pain with her. And somewhere, someday she is going to crack and all that is going to hit her.

I know she desperately wants to get pregnant. Maybe the reason why my mind switch sex off. I just knew I never could have a baby with this woman. So the new guy won't have much time for honeymoon. She wants a baby, and if I think of the money I spent on this woman, then I hope he is a very rich man. Because this honeymoon is going to cost him for the next 18 years. Besides that, the lovely seductive lady is just a false personality. He is stuck with a monster which has a terrible personality disorder.

Guys, don't go back. Get over the withdrawal period, and heal. For your own health. This is not a game, and the effects on your body is not worth the bit of loving. Think about this as a very bad experience, and move on.

I am no Casanova, and can count my ex's on the fingers of my one hand, but this was the most horrible relationship I have ever been in.

I thank God for saving me, and giving me the strength to say: NO