I'm a retired Naval Officer... .and have had some bouts with PTSD as well. I have 8 children and married for almost 20 years.
Once I found out about BPD traits and how to deal with them... .my life has gotten dramatically better.
This site played a huge role in the relationship getting better.
Step 1: We need to get you healthy and stable. Can you post some about how you are doing and your treatment plan for you. Don't focus on wife or kids and all... .just talk about you.
Step 2: Learn everything you can about BPD traits. Read the lessons. Sounds like you have know for a week or so. You most likely feel like you are drinking from a fire hose of information.
Know this... there is an "order to the disorder"... .you need to learn about that. It will take a while to understand... but ... .it will help.
Looking forward to your next post!