what if

[BrokenFamily]

Part of me wishes I had BPD so I could easily forget the past and just hook up and fall in love with the next random person I meet. It sure would make it a lot easier to cope

[sirius]

You don't want that. Trust me. You did all you could. My ex was like yours too, all sorts of imaginary crap, day in day out. I was wishing like you too. I lost everything including my soul. You have your daughter so that shows you did not lose everything.

Do what is right, not what is easy. It will be well worth it once you realized and hey, you found this family.

It'll be hard but it gets better, slowly but surely. Be strong and take care of yourself

[clydegriffith]

LOL! I feel your pain. I've watched my daughter's mother go through cylce of "finding the one" 4 times in two years, without a care in the world acting like it's perfectly normal. She trapped the latest one with a baby so i'm expecting it to last a bit longer than the others but things will end the only way they can for her- complete and utter disaster.

[emancipated]

I feel u my man... I too have wished for the ability to speed away from my emotions and would do anything to not have felt the pain I felt and to a much smaller degree still feel. I have found it amounts to a type of selling ur soul . this place is where we have all come for a sense of understanding and although I have found most responses like to regurgitate things they've read ie nc... why do u care what ur ex is doing blah blah blah. U do care and that is sign of the strong not the weak. It takes courage to stand on ur conviction one thing I've come to understand is a lot of people with BPD seem to be like dogs who have been beaten one too many times they want love but can't get out of their own way and.often times hurt the ones who just want to love them... Or at least the person they mirrored to u. Continue to keep ur head up I still fall down... I felt awefulmthe first time I hooked up.with a girl after my ex

All I could think about was her and how guilty I felt and I'm thinking how could she be doing this a month before I could even attempt and just be perfectly fine.this isn't sports where ur qb gets hurt so u just march another one out.

[Deeno02]

Sh*t in one hand and wish in the other and see what fills up faster. There isnt an easy fix for this. Or them. Let them go on their merry way and run amok. Its not your problem anymore. Its theirs. If theres a reason to maintain contact(kids) do so from a distance but watch out for your kids. They will see this destructive behavior of their parent and it will greatly affect them. My GF has 5 kids whom I miss dearly, but theres nothing I can do. And I will be forever sad about that. Your mission is to get well and find that healthy relationship that you, and we all deserve! Sorry about the poop thing... .I reverted back to being a Chief Petty Officer again...

[BrokenFamily]

Thanks everyone for the insight and positive words of encouragement! It's difficult to watch someone you love train wreck, it's even more difficult to have all the fond memories of our past be painted black as if she was miserable the whole time and the worst part of all is indeed her claiming to have fallen in love with a new guy the same week we split. I'm looking forward and staying positive. I have a new job, new car, a nice home and a beautiful daughter, so I have much to appreciate! I worry my new work schedule will inhibit the time I spend with my daughter and that her mother will soon seek custody and money but I'm pretty sure I will win considering I've always had custody I have no criminal record and my daughter don't even have a room or a crib in her mother's house. It just frightens me but that isn't anything I need to worry about right now but I will learn and plan for it in the future