Strange dream is my subconscious sending me a message

[Depression = 72% of members]

I have not had a dream about my ex BPDbf since I ended our encounter back in June. Recently he broke NC on a dating site. Then a few emails and finally text bombing. It's the same old idealization crap, I love you, I miss you, I adored everything about you, your beautiful and the kindest person I know, blah, blah, blah. I do believe the recent contact by my ex BPDbf triggered my dream.

In the dream I was in my bedroom in my childhood home. Me and my older sister shared a bedroom. Interestingly enough, my sister dated my ex BPDbf for a month during high school. It was in our childhood bedroom where I first met him. I had a huge school girl crush on him. But, he was dating my older sister, which is a line never to be crossed!

Okay, So back to the dream. My ex BPDbf showed up unexpectedly. I had no make up on and my hair wasn't done. I felt vulnerable and not attractive. We were the ages we are now (40's & 50's). I had a friend over and ex BPDbf said he wanted to talk. I immediately asked my friend to leave. She was mad at me, cause she was infatuated with by ex BPDbf. My Parents were in the living room. They were speaking in raised voices that they didn't want me with my ex BPDbf.

The next thing I remember is we were at a street fair. Another girl was following us around as I tried to talk to my ex BPDbf. I finally pulled her aside by her hair no less (not something I'd ever have done in real life), and I told her to stay away from my bf.

Next thing I remember in the dream is loosing my ex BPDbf in the crowd. I began yelling his name and couldn't find him. Then I tried to call him, but dropped my phone and it broke. A guy came over to help me. He said "oh hi, didn't I see you with ex BPDbf?" I said yes, but I lost him in the crowd. The guy said, "oh, well he was heading to so-n-so's (woman's name) house down on the shore." I quickly walked away, found a bench and started crying. I recall my phone being fixed a few days later and checking it for a call or text from my ex BPDbf, but, there was nothing!

I feel my subconscious is sending me a message and reminding me of the crazy Rollercoaster ride though the little shop of horrors with my ex BPDbf over the course of our 4 year encounter. Obviously the dream was triggered by his recent contact. Glad my subconscious is keeping its boundary and protecting me!

[RedDove]

I have not had a dream about my ex BPDbf since I ended our encounter back in June. Recently he broke NC on a dating site. Then a few emails and finally text bombing. It's the same old idealization crap, I love you, I miss you, I adored everything about you, your beautiful and the kindest person I know, blah, blah, blah. I do believe the recent contact by my ex BPDbf triggered my dream.

In the dream I was in my bedroom in my childhood home. Me and my older sister shared a bedroom. Interestingly enough, my sister dated my ex BPDbf for a month during high school. It was in our childhood bedroom where I first met him. I had a huge school girl crush on him. But, he was dating my older sister, which is a line never to be crossed!

Okay, So back to the dream. My ex BPDbf showed up unexpectedly. I had no make up on and my hair wasn't done. I felt vulnerable and not attractive. We were the ages we are now (40's & 50's). I had a friend over and ex BPDbf said he wanted to talk. I immediately asked my friend to leave. She was mad at me, cause she was infatuated with by ex BPDbf. My Parents were in the living room. They were speaking in raised voices that they didn't want me with my ex BPDbf.

The next thing I remember is we were at a street fair. Another girl was following us around as I tried to talk to my ex BPDbf. I finally pulled her aside by her hair no less (not something I'd ever have done in real life), and I told her to stay away from my bf.

Next thing I remember in the dream is loosing my ex BPDbf in the crowd. I began yelling his name and couldn't find him. Then I tried to call him, but dropped my phone and it broke. A guy came over to help me. He said "oh hi, didn't I see you with ex BPDbf?" I said yes, but I lost him in the crowd. The guy said, "oh, well he was heading to so-n-so's (woman's name) house down on the shore." I quickly walked away, found a bench and started crying. I recall my phone being fixed a few days later and checking it for a call or text from my ex BPDbf, but, there was nothing!

I feel my subconscious is sending me a message and reminding me of the crazy Rollercoaster ride though the little shop of horrors with my ex BPDbf over the course of our 4 year encounter. Obviously the dream was triggered by his recent contact. Glad my subconscious is keeping its boundary and protecting me!

[Pingo]

That's an interesting dream and not hard to find the literal meaning in it.  It could also represent new beginnings as you had to let him go in your dream, you couldn't even phone him as your phone broke.  I think it's a good sign you are processing this stuff.  I have not dreamed of my uBPDexh at all but I keep having dreams of other men, old boyfriends.  I am not sure if I'm processing my current stuff through these dreams or if this BU has dredged up stuff I haven't dealt with from the past.  Either way I feel it's progress. 

[RedDove]

Thanks Pingo. Yes, I most definitely can see the literal meanings in my dream. I felt vulnerable throughout the encounter with my ex BPDbf. Two yeats into it he had a rage and we had a big fight. He gave me the silent treatment for 2 weeks. After that I became suspicious that he was cheating and lying to me. I was playing detective and always walking on eggshells and watching over my shoulder for another woman. Hence the two other women in the dream.

I always told him where I was going and who I was with. But, he never did the same. So not being able to find or reach him in the dream was clearly him pulling the Houdini act and me worrying he was cheating with another woman.

It's interesting you mentioned dreams about old boyfriends from the past. I've had those dreams as well. Mainly about a boyfriend I dated 10+ years ago after my divorce. In 2009 he committed suicide. I always thought he suffered from depression. But, after the dreams about him, it may very well be he suffered from BPD.

I also think my ex husband had a personality disorder. They were both very clingy and possessive (very jealous), it was all about their needs, and they also both love bombed me. The big difference though was that my two exes possessed empathy and would have done anything for me. My ex BPDbf was very selfish, self centered, and had no empathy.

The dream was a warning. The last text I received from my ex BPDbf was "love... .from afar is better than none". It made me start to feel sorry for him. BUT, my dream is reminding me that he's no longer my responsibility or concern. I need to continue to focus on me and my journey towards recovery.

[Pingo]

Yeah, I've been having some very strange dreams since my BU. I've dreamt about two ex bfs that abandoned me basically.  One was the father of my daughter (21 yrs ago) and the other a fiance from 16 yrs ago.  In both dreams there was ___ (literally, as in feces - gross, I know) which was so very strange so I looked up what this would symbolise and it's about getting rid of emotional ___, letting the old baggage go.  I got excited about this, I am hoping that I'm finally letting go of grief I've been carrying for a lifetime.  I look forward to dreaming about my uBPDexh as I believe that means I'm ready to move on and process it.  Especially if it involves ___ .  I told my gf about these dreams, she says I'm nuts! Haha

[Blimblam]

I have had a lot of strange dreams also. I dreamed about every female that loved it had a crush on me and all the ones i was angry at.

I had dreams that i was chasing after something and a female dream character often appears and converses with me as i chase after something and she sort of gives me advice but often i am toonconsumed with chasing to heed her advice. The times i stopped chasing and I listen to her the dream usually changes and I confront the issue she was guiding me too but then i am lost in that new dream. I realized she is trying to make me lucid in my dream and she typically leads me to a sort of confrontation with the "bad guy" in my dreams that I fear. What I notticed is that character beside me shape shifts and I am often chasing or running from their previous shape.