is possible a happy ending?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

After the ton of s**t (taking it personal or not, but s**t after all), that every single one of us have taken from our SO's, I guess you know when it's really happening, when you are actually ready, and I mean it, specially after a million of fail attempts. However I still wonder if anybody has had a happy ending? Ok not happy but acceptable, no that painful... you know, and rather inspiring, motivating or whatever.

For me so far has been sad, We were a couple that kind of learned about each other disorders (I am so Codependent) and we were really curious and kind of willing to improve some times. At least we were conscious about the reason we act the way we do, and stuff... you know! Any way, we tried,worked on our own issues (or pretended, seams more accurate), and learned something about ourselves!. Nonetheless, we reach that point where you acknowledged as well that nature is what it is, and sometimes it is just unpredictable... .So you accept there is no hope... .no true hope, no false hope. Then I guess you just know it,it is time to let it go, and the whole issue becomes matter of form. So for sure I do romanticize with a happy ending, and fear the bad ones full of crap.

How is it going for you? do you know about someone who had one, a happy ending?... .I guess I still like to think it's fair after all we have been thru.    

[12dazednconfused21]

After the ton of s**t (taking it personal or not, but s**t after all), that every single one of us have taken from our SO's, I guess you know when it's really happening, when you are actually ready, and I mean it, specially after a million of fail attempts. However I still wonder if anybody has had a happy ending? Ok not happy but acceptable, no that painful... you know, and rather inspiring, motivating or whatever.

For me so far has been sad, We were a couple that kind of learned about each other disorders (I am so Codependent) and we were really curious and kind of willing to improve some times. At least we were conscious about the reason we act the way we do, and stuff... you know! Any way, we tried,worked on our own issues (or pretended, seams more accurate), and learned something about ourselves!. Nonetheless, we reach that point where you acknowledged as well that nature is what it is, and sometimes it is just unpredictable... .So you accept there is no hope... .no true hope, no false hope. Then I guess you just know it,it is time to let it go, and the whole issue becomes matter of form. So for sure I do romanticize with a happy ending, and fear the bad ones full of crap.

How is it going for you? do you know about someone who had one, a happy ending?... .I guess I still like to think it's fair after all we have been thru.    

[Infern0]

I don't think it's impossible for a pwBPD to get treatment and make big strides,  and have a reasonably happy relationship eventually.

It is not overly likely though.

They would need extensive DBT or Schema and you try getting them into that let alone keeping them there.

You would need a pwBPD with great resolve to get better and an immensely strong non partner.

Problem is nons like that would probably just walk away.  Codependent like us who would stay probably aren't string enough.

Just my view

[CareTaker]

Nonetheless, we reach that point where you acknowledged as well that nature is what it is, and sometimes it is just unpredictable... .So you accept there is no hope

I had a happy ending. After all we went through in 3 years, I thought that this was THE woman for me. I often had to convince her, that there never will be another woman in my life, as she is all I ever want. Yet I was so confused about her way of treating me, then telling me I treat her bad.

I realized when she replaced me two weeks after I walked out, that I actually meant nothing to her. I was just a supply to her demands.

That changed my whole idea and way of thinking. I realized this is not the type of woman I want, or would fight for. This is just trash that goes from one supply to the other, without any regrets. And I pity the man who has a child with her, as it will cost him more than just money. I pity the child as well.

So I had a happy ending. Well, at least I am happy it ended, put it that way.

[Pieter2]

The happy ending is when you get out alive. Unfortunately it will never be a happy ending for them - Only for you.

[antonio1213]

That changed my whole idea and way of thinking. I realized this is not the type of woman I want, or would fight for. This is just trash that goes from one supply to the other, without any regrets. And I pity the man who has a child with her, as it will cost him more than just money. I pity the child as well.

So I had a happy ending. Well, at least I am happy it ended, put it that way.

Ha that made me laugh. It is all really sad to be honest. I don't think that the words content or happy even apply to these people. Like true contentment or true happiness.

No matter how much she "loves" me or I "love" her I will only be truly truly happy whenever I am as far away from her crazy ___ as possible. I can't love a supply hopper nor a child in a beautiful woman's body.

I pity the man who ends up with her. Think of all the regret that will come

[AliveButBeatup]

The happy ending is when you get out alive. Unfortunately it will never be a happy ending for them - Only for you.

Very succinctly said and unfortunately very much the truth.

My story. I married a BPD woman on 12/12/12. I filed for divorce 6 months later. Did I see the warning signs before we got married?  Of course I did!  We cycled and recycled. We finally reached a point where there was a 7 month separation period of infrequent e-mail contact.  I was right at the point of completing unfinished paperwork relating to the divorce.  I just got dumped after a 2 week relationship with someone. The next evening a shadow appears outside my house. A ring at the doorbell. It was my wife. She wanted to talk. She wanted to come inside. I told her no.  I said we can meet at a restaurant and talk. We did. She told me she was seeing a therapist.  She was on meds. She was better.  I requested proof.

We started seeing each other. We started couples session at her therapist. I point blanked asked the therapist if my wife was a point that she could be in an intimate relationship.  My wife moved into my home (I owned it before we got married).  She was a pleasure to be with for about 4 weeks. And then it all started again. A small crack at first and then full on. The packing up of things to move out. The putting them back away. The emotional terrorism towards me. I requested and requested for her to move out. She said she was my wife and not going anywhere. She had threats of suicide. The knife against the wrist. The swallowing of a whole bottle of anti-depressants. Me calling the poison control center for instructions.  I wanted her out of the house in the worse way, but she wouldn't budge.  Always an excuse.

I was cut a break after a hellish weekend of her emotional terrorism.  Her new tactic was demanding an immediate divorce. Demanding apologies from me or she was going to tell my business colleagues about the horrible person I am.  I was to go to my attorney's office and she was to follow in her car. In a moment of clarity while she was following me, I stopped at the Woman's abuse center (they work with men as well). I explained to them what was going on and asked what do I need to do to get her out of the house.  We also discussed a restraining order. They said to get the police report I filed previously where my wife was threatening to throw bricks through my window and had ripped my screens. Please keep in mind my wife was out waiting in the car.

I left the woman's center and decided to go over to the police station. My wife followed there as well. I stayed inside the police ststion for 30 minutes or so while she waited.  I picked up a copy of the report.

Where am I going with this?  About 4 hours later my wife very peacefully moved out of my home. I purchased some plastic tubs for her and she went on her way. I think she figured something was going to happen to her that was not going to be good.  I did get a couple of last text messages from her that had heapings of devaluation. They do hurt, but after so many cycles with her, the source is known. I promptly blocked her. I did provide the final paperwork to my attorney and the divorce is moving forward.

It appears she did communicate with a couple of my business colleagues.  I am uncertain what was said.

The house is lonely. My bed isn't as warm as it once was.  There is sadness. And I feel tons of relief. I feel like I dodged a bullet. My stress level subsided rapidly as she backed out of the driveway.

AB

[777Alex777]

My wife tore my life apart from top to bottom. She still to this day finds inventive ways to do things to hurt me emotionally or financially even after 9 months apart.

I lost several businesses, my career, my relationship with three out of 5 of my kids, my vehicles, everything I own. everything I own. all of it.

I am 42 and starting over completely from scratch living 1400 miles away from her with the two of my kids who stood by me, living with a friend. with nothing.

That's the kind of happy ending you can look forward to.

[AliveButBeatup]

My wife tore my life apart from top to bottom. She still to this day finds inventive ways to do things to hurt me emotionally or financially even after 9 months apart.

I lost several businesses, my career, my relationship with three out of 5 of my kids, my vehicles, everything I own. everything I own. all of it.

I am 42 and starting over completely from scratch living 1400 miles away from her with the two of my kids who stood by me, living with a friend. with nothing.

That's the kind of happy ending you can look forward to.

I am sorry to hear that 7cubed Alex 7cubed.

I was on my way to that point. I own my own business as well.  Her disruptions have caused me so much loss of energy and focus on my business. Every cycle requires recovery time for me and in turn, loss of focus on productive activities.  I am thankful I had a prenuptial agreement done before getting married. Otherwise I would be probably be where you are Alex --- starting over.

AB

[neverloveagain]

Theres no happy ending, the lies will aleays unfold even when treated, those traits you hate will always rear there heads, then its the BPD get out of jail card for free i have issues i have my problems. They are never wrong dont try and tell em, watch the waif.

[mitchell16]

Im not sure about happy endings. My ending probably as well as could be expected from a BPD person. We split in june and attempted a recycle in august. While we tried to recyclce i had a nagging feeling in my stomach asking myself why? do i want to do this. I knew how it would go and end. Me and her and he did that dance for 3 years and we split on the average of every  6 to 8 weeks with about 3 weeks of NC from both for about 3 weeks in between. So in August she started some of her same crap and we was on the phone I told her just to never contact me again. she has attempted several ways to reach me but I have held strong to nc. It makes me feel bad to have to treat her that way but I had to do it for myself. If not she would keep me playing this game forever. I feel better, Im finalling sleeping at night, Im gaining some weight which I could while with her. My health has improved, people tell me i appear much happier and less stress. so i guess that about as happy of an ending as I could expect. She has sent me nasty emails calling me names, had her relatives and friend send me nast text message mixed with begging texts. But I still maintained NC. Right now Im at peace with my life. My finances are better then they have been in a long time.

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