what do you do when they disappear?

[mangopanda]

I'm new here and I've been reading about other people whose partners with BPD can be on and off as far as their relationship. I believe that my partner loves me deeply and is just very scared of that, so when it seems we're making progress, that's irrelevant to what I'm now thinking is emotional disregulation. This is the period where something out of anything I'm saying attacks him and he kind of avoids me (but will tell me I'm the one giving him no choice but to avoid me). On the one hand I appreciate him respecting my boundary when he's like this, because I don't like how he talks to me when he suddenly is indifferent to our relationship. It seems like other people in the leaving section of the board were unhappy when their BPD partner was around but I love them when he's around, I can't get enough of him... .

it's just this sudden absence where we don't talk for months that is difficult. Is this similar for anybody? I feel like I'm in a relationship but with a person who has the habit to temporarily exit the relationship, it's like he takes a relationship vacation

his whole stance during these periods is how he made the wrong choice but now he'll do better, but he always comes back to me and says he never meant any of that... .that he was just scared or didn't know what to do

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