Ex BPD partner is getting married. I should be rejoicing but not

[Depression = 72% of members]

My ex BPD partner is getting married next week.

I was with her for 12 years, had a son with her. Was engaged but never married. Broke up 21 months ago.

Although I loved her, she was hard work and I tolerated more than an average person would have done. She knew this and took full advantage of me, constantly lying to me, had an affair, broke me financially and mentally. She has now met another mug who within 15 months has moved into our old house and is marrying her. He thinks he has won the lottery.

I know it's only a matter of time her when the 'real her' comes out  and she be the horrible, moody, selfish, unhappy, friendless cow she ended up being. I know I have dodged a massive bullet and have a chance of meeting a decent, honest, woman to hopefully share the rest of my days with.

But it still hurts like hell. I don't know why!

[Heartbroken Eagle]

My ex BPD partner is getting married next week.

I was with her for 12 years, had a son with her. Was engaged but never married. Broke up 21 months ago.

Although I loved her, she was hard work and I tolerated more than an average person would have done. She knew this and took full advantage of me, constantly lying to me, had an affair, broke me financially and mentally. She has now met another mug who within 15 months has moved into our old house and is marrying her. He thinks he has won the lottery.

I know it's only a matter of time her when the 'real her' comes out  and she be the horrible, moody, selfish, unhappy, friendless cow she ended up being. I know I have dodged a massive bullet and have a chance of meeting a decent, honest, woman to hopefully share the rest of my days with.

But it still hurts like hell. I don't know why!

[willtimeheal]

I am sorry Eagle. I know it hurts. Hopefully over time you will find peace when you realize you did dodge a bullet. I am about two and a half months out of my relationship and I fear that I will hear that she is engage or married soon. She had the replacement all lined up behind my back. I know too that I dodged a bullet but it doesn't stop the pain. Hang in there and hugs to you.

[MrConfusedWithItAll]

to love and to cherish, till death us do part

For a BPD this is what I think is called an oxymoron.  How can they really be capable of it?  My mother is a BPD and on her second marriage - but she is still cheating on him as she cheated also on my father.  Carnal loyalty is impossible for these people.  Yes you are the lucky one.

[Seriously?]

I'm sorry you are feeling like this, Eagle. It is a difficult place to be. I still question if I did the right thing by getting my husband out my life even though he got physical with me. My T pointed out i made the only healthy choice I could have at the time. Still, I think on my bad days there could have been an alternative solution. He was supposed to be my happy ending after all. For 6 months, I lived my version of a fairy tale where he very rarely slipped. The last month was constantly difficult with him confusing me to the enth degree. He would be very loving and attentive and then switch to being critical and negative about me within the same hour. He started calling people on the phone and complaining about me and couldn't seem to understand why this was so upsetting to me. I am jealous of someone new going through the honeymoon stage. I hate when I am plagued with good memories. He has not contacted me at all in months. I deleted his number from my phone because lately I have really felt like calling. I am glad you did what.was healthy for you in your relationship,  but I get how hard it is to think of.your ex.giving the parts.you miss away to someone new. 

[Heartbroken Eagle]

I saw my ex tonight when I dropped off my son.

I looked in her eyes and thought considering she is getting married to her 'dream guy' next week, she does not look happy at all. She looked sad and lost. I wish her good luck for her wedding next week of which she coldly replied 'Thank you' and drove home.

I then remembered how she looked all those years ago when I first met her. Ironically it was her eyes and the warmth in her smile that first attracted me to her. She was a truly wonderful woman.

She's now long gone. Sadly... .