Found out replaced now what

[DangIthurts]

So I heard through the grapevine she had a new BF already and sure enough the one social media I could see Im now blocked on, and a guys name with hearts around it... .


Engaged and all that replaced in under a month... .What does that mean for people that got replaced so quickly.

I kind of feel indifferent to it all. I saw her at a traffic light lmao was ignored... .

But to be replaced like under a month?

[Deeno02]

Replaced in a couple of days. What to do? Take the pain and move on. Been almost 3 months now. Havent seen her, havent heard from her, I have gone no contact, no text, zero social media, no email, no nothing. And therapy. Yep. Take care of your self now.

[Waifed]

So I heard through the grapevine she had a new BF already and sure enough the one social media I could see Im now blocked on, and a guys name with hearts around it... .


Engaged and all that replaced in under a month... .What does that mean for people that got replaced so quickly.

I kind of feel indifferent to it all. I saw her at a traffic light lmao was ignored... .

But to be replaced like under a month?

Sorry to hear, but it seems to be the stereotypical norm. I am fortunate that I have no mutual friends with her so I have no idea what she has done over the past 14 months. I plan on keeping it that way not because I would ever take her back, but because I know it would probably still affect me to some degree for a short amount of time. It is best to cut all ties with them because most are unable to maintain any sort of healthy relationship. It is important that we respect ourselves.

[anxiety5]

Replaced in a couple of days. What to do? Take the pain and move on. Been almost 3 months now. Havent seen her, havent heard from her, I have gone no contact, no text, zero social media, no email, no nothing. And therapy. Yep. Take care of your self now.

I have a couple questions for everyone here.

A) How long was your relationship.

B) In retrospect what behavior changes did you notice in them that you could probably attribute to her having met someone else behind your back towards the end of your relationship.

C) How did she end it? Pick a fight? Just shade out by stop making plans, stop showing interest, and getting you to act first so she didn't have to and could play victim/dumped?

D) When things ended were you shunned/devalued/raged on in the days following the split? Or was she overly nice about everything (because she already had a replacement and wanted to keep you around just in case that didn't work)

[BrokenFamily]

Replaced in a couple of days. What to do? Take the pain and move on. Been almost 3 months now. Havent seen her, havent heard from her, I have gone no contact, no text, zero social media, no email, no nothing. And therapy. Yep. Take care of your self now.

I have a couple questions for everyone here.

A) How long was your relationship. (just under 4 years & have a child together)

B) In retrospect what behavior changes did you notice in them that you could probably attribute to her having met someone else behind your back towards the end of your relationship. (No she was actually more loving and the sex was better than ever)

C) How did she end it? Pick a fight? Just shade out by stop making plans, stop showing interest, and getting you to act first so she didn't have to and could play victim/dumped?

(yes, she picked a fight over something minor and it seemed premeditated)

D) When things ended were you shunned/devalued/raged on in the days following the split? Or was she overly nice about everything (because she already had a replacement and wanted to keep you around just in case that didn't work) (YES< YES AND YES)

[DangIthurts]

So I heard through the grapevine she had a new BF already and sure enough the one social media I could see Im now blocked on, and a guys name with hearts around it... .


Engaged and all that replaced in under a month... .What does that mean for people that got replaced so quickly.

I kind of feel indifferent to it all. I saw her at a traffic light lmao was ignored... .

But to be replaced like under a month?

Sorry to hear, but it seems to be the stereotypical norm. I am fortunate that I have no mutual friends with her so I have no idea what she has done over the past 14 months. I plan on keeping it that way not because I would ever take her back, but because I know it would probably still affect me to some degree for a short amount of time. It is best to cut all ties with them because most are unable to maintain any sort of healthy relationship. It is important that we respect ourselves.

Thanks I mean this was the only thing missing really from my experience come to learn that within 3-4 weeks she's no committed as of last Wednesday, and from what he told our mutual friend today... .Who she asked "is he stalking me" lmao, when asked by the mutual friend why she messed up a good thing it was yeah me and her don't hate each other this guy is just "perfect" so 3-4 weeks after me, forgiving dating site, working through months of little effort and cycles, she found someone better than me in a tiny town with a tiny population .

[DangIthurts]

Replaced in a couple of days. What to do? Take the pain and move on. Been almost 3 months now. Havent seen her, havent heard from her, I have gone no contact, no text, zero social media, no email, no nothing. And therapy. Yep. Take care of your self now.

I have a couple questions for everyone here.

A) How long was your relationship.

B) In retrospect what behavior changes did you notice in them that you could probably attribute to her having met someone else behind your back towards the end of your relationship.

C) How did she end it? Pick a fight? Just shade out by stop making plans, stop showing interest, and getting you to act first so she didn't have to and could play victim/dumped?

D) When things ended were you shunned/devalued/raged on in the days following the split? Or was she overly nice about everything (because she already had a replacement and wanted to keep you around just in case that didn't work)

A.) almsot a year

b.) pulling away but again these can just be defense triggers, but mine was totally uninterested in seeing me... .Even today when I saw her she acted if I had never met her just looked over muddled a few words to the person in the car and stared straight ahead like she never met me... .So this can mean she's shopping in my opinion but very hard to gauge.

c.) for me I blew up over being canceled on for an entire week after getting my hopes up we were working towards correcting it all (wrongly and with cruising, but apologized) this was after an official break up based on her refusing to apologize for TERRIBLE things ten times worse than just bit** and F***. She said sell the car and anything else I'm done, never contact me again after my blow up. We spoke two more times, she was even more uncaring and disinterested than I can remember. Then it was today.

d.) just like I never existed kind of like what I just described how she treated me in the car, like I'd never existed... .

[SlyQQ]

Sent me a text saying bear with me sorry luv u while she was setting up house with another guy ( who she planned to marry an have a kid with ) while i had taken kids on holidays she was going to dissapear with them when i came back and hit me with an avo ( violence order) lucky nanny tumbled and warned me still got hit with order ( quashed ) bur it was pretty out of blue even with the teary please hang in there with me while she was planninjg to do me over 

[Infared]

So I heard through the grapevine she had a new BF already and sure enough the one social media I could see Im now blocked on, and a guys name with hearts around it... .


Engaged and all that replaced in under a month... .What does that mean for people that got replaced so quickly.

I kind of feel indifferent to it all. I saw her at a traffic light lmao was ignored... .

But to be replaced like under a month?

Are you sure that she didn't set you up?  Mine hid everything and deceived me. She said that she was "dating" 30 days after an abrupt abandonment but it was all a sham... .she had been with the guy long before she moved out. pwBPD are master cheaters and steely cold and calculating.

[FrenchConnection]

Replaced in a couple of days. What to do? Take the pain and move on. Been almost 3 months now. Havent seen her, havent heard from her, I have gone no contact, no text, zero social media, no email, no nothing. And therapy. Yep. Take care of your self now.

I have a couple questions for everyone here.

A) How long was your relationship.

B) In retrospect what behavior changes did you notice in them that you could probably attribute to her having met someone else behind your back towards the end of your relationship.

C) How did she end it? Pick a fight? Just shade out by stop making plans, stop showing interest, and getting you to act first so she didn't have to and could play victim/dumped?

D) When things ended were you shunned/devalued/raged on in the days following the split? Or was she overly nice about everything (because she already had a replacement and wanted to keep you around just in case that didn't work)

When we ended our relationship (first time) it was after 4 months together.  She had a public verbal aggressive attack on me in public and that night i decided i could not stay any longer with her or her erratic behavior.  She made me sleep in the guest bed room and she spent the night in her bed room.  She spent the entire night signing up on an on-line dating site and talking with men all night until i left the next morning.  So she was trying to find my replacement even before i had left.

A.  7 months in total

B.  I noticed that just before the end of the relationship she had removed all the cards and notes and any other recognition of our relationship out of her bedroom where her computer is.  I came to her place only on the weekend as we live over 3 hours apart.  When i came and saw all my stuff hidden away in a closet i became suspicious.  She told me it was because someone came to inspect her apartment and she did not want them to know she was in a relationship.  Things fell apart for us at that moment.  I expect she was talking on her webcam and didn't want others to see all my "stuff" in her room.

C.  She ended it by when i asked her what was wrong with her?  Meaning her strange behavior.  She lost it and started yelling at me and told me i was always "thinking in her place".  I hung up the phone and that was the end of our relationship.

D.  After that, no contact for 3 weeks.  Then she sends me disguised texts from her mother's phone and her daughter's phone.  It was her both times.  She just wanted contact to see how i was feeling.  I responded politely.  Then she sent me a text from her phone saying she was in trouble because an old ex was trying to harm her.  I told her i think she has BPD and to get help for that otherwise we have nothing to talk about.  I am sure she has moved on now to the next guy in line.

[Infared]

Replaced in a couple of days. What to do? Take the pain and move on. Been almost 3 months now. Havent seen her, havent heard from her, I have gone no contact, no text, zero social media, no email, no nothing. And therapy. Yep. Take care of your self now.

I have a couple questions for everyone here.

A) How long was your relationship.

B) In retrospect what behavior changes did you notice in them that you could probably attribute to her having met someone else behind your back towards the end of your relationship.

C) How did she end it? Pick a fight? Just shade out by stop making plans, stop showing interest, and getting you to act first so she didn't have to and could play victim/dumped?

D) When things ended were you shunned/devalued/raged on in the days following the split? Or was she overly nice about everything (because she already had a replacement and wanted to keep you around just in case that didn't work)

A) Five years (live-in)

B) I didn't really notice anything at the time ... it had to have been going on for months... I had had a VERY close call car accident.  REALLY close... and looking back... she showed now concern.  Of course absences were all suspect and I went away for the weekend with my friends and she was to come and then didn't. Duh.  I was understanding and thought she needed some space... you know... it was my friends, etc.  What a fool I was.

C) She abruptly ended it a week before Christmas. Just announced it and basically got out of the house and came back and moved her things 2 weeks later. Now I know that she had a fire in her pants and that accounts for the abrupt exit.  She lied to everyone though... .her parents, him, me, her best friend, new therapist... .told them al the fantasy story ... .that they met a month later... meanwhile she is with this guy that she told me on numerous occasions she met at a work related company 2 years prior.  She must have forgotten... but she kept insisting they met after... .it was bizarre. Its like she made up this elaborate lie to everyone and she wasn't going to let me crack the fantasy because then she would be a louse. bizarre

D) She started to get mean at the very end (I didn't know but that behavior was all propped up by the new supply)... .The second she moved out she turned into someone I never knew.  She was vindictive, cruel abusive. She was telling lie after lie, after lie. Nothing made any sense to me ... .I was extremely confused and hurt.  The two of them would go waaaaaay out of there way on numerous occasions  to cause me emotional pain in public... .just like 7th-graders.  It was bizarre and very painful to live through that stuff.  I was just in disbelief. ... and there were many many instances. Then... .every once in a while... .if she was alone she would try to walk up to me like everything was still the same with us or something? Like she was a victim? I never allowed it.  It was soo psycho...   soo psycho.

I had no hit of this person for five years... .and then WHAM!

[DangIthurts]

So I heard through the grapevine she had a new BF already and sure enough the one social media I could see Im now blocked on, and a guys name with hearts around it... .


Engaged and all that replaced in under a month... .What does that mean for people that got replaced so quickly.

I kind of feel indifferent to it all. I saw her at a traffic light lmao was ignored... .

But to be replaced like under a month?

Are you sure that she didn't set you up?  Mine hid everything and deceived me. She said that she was "dating" 30 days after an abrupt abandonment but it was all a sham... .she had been with the guy long before she moved out. pwBPD are master cheaters and steely cold and calculating.

i mean anything is possible she was on her best behavior post dating site, tagging me in everything I don't even think she knew this person she was with me A LOT the month prior to the break up, then it just appeared to be another painted black due to argument cycle, but with a vast amount of anger I'd never seen... So when I said I need an apology to her after threatening to kill me, etc. she said "nope I'll apologize when I feel like it" I said then I can come get the car and ring and I said I'm getting ready to leave tell me now what you want. "I'll have mom move the car out front for you"

So no I don't think it was a set-up, trust me she just had to be kind and she had anything she wanted so she could have gotten wayyyyyy more from me if she was looking to, she just had total indifference to anything I had to offer or say.

[RisingSun]

A) How long was your relationship.

B) In retrospect what behavior changes did you notice in them that you could probably attribute to her having met someone else behind your back towards the end of your relationship.

C) How did she end it? Pick a fight? Just shade out by stop making plans, stop showing interest, and getting you to act first so she didn't have to and could play victim/dumped?

D) When things ended were you shunned/devalued/raged on in the days following the split? Or was she overly nice about everything (because she already had a replacement and wanted to keep you around just in case that didn't work)

A) 11 years together, 6 of those married

B) She was at times giddy, started dancing around the house for no reason. Her body movements changed and she started to want sex more. The sex was like it was in the beginning of our relationship, very hot and expressive. She was also telling me about a new "friend" she had meet through a mutual friend of ours. She would bring this new friend up while we were out for dinner. Telling me how much in common they had and how he had a crush on her. I'm not the jealous type , even though I've been cheated on in a past relationship. For awhile I thought it was great she made a new friend. But as I heard about him more and realized it was becoming more than friends, I put my foot down. This is when the real craziness started.

For the first time in our 11 year relationship I checked her phone. This was after I voiced my feelings of unease with her new friend and asked her to stop seeing him. She reluctantly agreed to sever their "friendship". The next day I looked at her phone's call log and texts. That was the point of no return for me. What I found is forever etched in my mind.

After I told her what I found, she began to turn into someone I didn't know. It was like she decided to show me her "other side". A side of her that in the whole 11 years we were together she never let out completely.

C) It was all over the place. One moment she would be super sweet and tell me how she couldn't imagine life without me. She would list all my wonderful qualities and say what a sweet, sweet man I was. Tell me how much I brought into her life and that she felt like if I left her she would die. And then the next minute she would say that we were never a good match, that everything was my fault, that I was controlling her and not allowing her to be self-expressive and that she wants to "kill our marriage" (her exact words). It was a mind fck. We went around and around with the push/pull until I put my foot down. Told her if she didn't stop seeing this guy and recommit to our marriage, it was over and that I would have no other choice but to divorce her. She held her ground and I made my decision to move toward divorce.

Next thing I know, she hires a lawyer, files for divorce and blame shifts everything on me. This is when she turned completely into someone I didn't know. It was like my wife died and I was left with this raging, self entitled, crazy women. It was such a shock it left me with ptsd. I realized I would never again see my wife again. She was long gone. And the person that took her place, didn't care about my feelings in the slightest.

D) I'm painted black now. She tried for the first three months to communicate with me, phone messages/text/email. Said she wanted to "settle" things. I wouldn't respond. I went NC when I realized I was dealing with someone who had no empathy. Her contacts started to become more and more hostile, until they just stopped. Now I haven't heard from her in at least two months.

I think she's gone for good.   

I'm thankful, in a way, that she changed so drastically. Because if she hadn't, I may have never found and researched BPD. What made me research this disorder was the way in which she shifted into someone else once she was backed into a corner. She knew the game was up. This sent her into total dysregulation. It was scary and at the same time liberating. I knew beyond a doubt I had to get away from her at all costs, for my emotional safety and sanity. When I found a list of BPD symptoms and she fit into them so perfectly I knew who I was dealing with. Knowing about BPD made all my past experiences with her come to light. Wish I could have known of her disorder sooner. I don't think it would have saved our marriage. Although it would have at least prepared me for the inevitable future.

I'm not a religious person, but I thank god that I found validation from knowing she has a legitimate pd. The weight of all our/her issues were dumped on me. They were of such a great weight I was being crushed by them. If I hadn't known for sure it wasn't ALL my fault, I don't think I would be alive today.

[Caredverymuch]

Replaced in a couple of days. What to do? Take the pain and move on. Been almost 3 months now. Havent seen her, havent heard from her, I have gone no contact, no text, zero social media, no email, no nothing. And therapy. Yep. Take care of your self now.

I have a couple questions for everyone here.

A) How long was your relationship.

B) In retrospect what behavior changes did you notice in them that you could probably attribute to her having met someone else behind your back towards the end of your relationship.

C) How did she end it? Pick a fight? Just shade out by stop making plans, stop showing interest, and getting you to act first so she didn't have to and could play victim/dumped?

D) When things ended were you shunned/devalued/raged on in the days following the split? Or was she overly nice about everything (because she already had a replacement and wanted to keep you around just in case that didn't work)

A) 1 1/2 yrs

B) more loving and bonded than ever.  Our r/s was in an incredibly close, warm, caring place.

C) He walked out with no explanation and literally just left me there. Then he dissociated me and replaced me within a month.

D) I was completely erased with no attempt to communicate with me beyond subsequent baitings on occasion which ignored.   

[Deeno02]

Replaced in a couple of days. What to do? Take the pain and move on. Been almost 3 months now. Havent seen her, havent heard from her, I have gone no contact, no text, zero social media, no email, no nothing. And therapy. Yep. Take care of your self now.

I have a couple questions for everyone here.

A) How long was your relationship.

B) In retrospect what behavior changes did you notice in them that you could probably attribute to her having met someone else behind your back towards the end of your relationship.

C) How did she end it? Pick a fight? Just shade out by stop making plans, stop showing interest, and getting you to act first so she didn't have to and could play victim/dumped?

D) When things ended were you shunned/devalued/raged on in the days following the split? Or was she overly nice about everything (because she already had a replacement and wanted to keep you around just in case that didn't work)

A) 1 1/2 yrs

B) more loving and bonded than ever.  Our r/s was in an incredibly close, warm, caring place.

C) He walked out with no explanation and literally just left me there. Then he dissociated me and replaced me within a month.

D) I was completely erased with no attempt to communicate with me beyond subsequent baitings on occasion which ignored.   

A. 1  1/2 years

B. She had no one else. I simply couldnt keep up with the demands and her chaos. Slowly became cut out and she started being more short and snarky with me.

C. I got my final treat me special or lose me. I broke. I didnt contact her for about a week, nor did she contact me. When I did, I wanted to get counseling. By then, she had moved on, dumped me and a few days later, with her old college buddy. Tried on last time by going to her volleyball practice with flowers, professed my love and was met by anger, insults and her making fun of me.

D. Totally forgotten about. No contact, havent seen her, havent seen her kids but once, and they paid me zero attention.

[Craydar]

A) How long was your relationship.

B) In retrospect what behavior changes did you notice in them that you could probably attribute to her having met someone else behind your back towards the end of your relationship.

C) How did she end it? Pick a fight? Just shade out by stop making plans, stop showing interest, and getting you to act first so she didn't have to and could play victim/dumped?

D) When things ended were you shunned/devalued/raged on in the days following the split? Or was she overly nice about everything (because she already had a replacement and wanted to keep you around just in case that didn't work)

A. 13 months

B. More confidence, indifference towards me, projecting likes and dislikes of the new guy

C. She shaded out. I knew what was happening so I didn't give her the satisfaction. I stopped calling too

D she ignored me. She was avoiding conflict so there wasn't any conflict with the new guy. I was overlapped by 6 weeks so she was confident he was for real.