What if she meant it at the time and you fell for her as she fell for you. So there is nothing to be ashamed of becuase the feelings were authentic.
I'm not ashamed in the least. Just ticked at myself for being duped. I saw the red flags but chose to ignore them. So it's on me.
When we are deceived we should get mad. It makes no differenece wether they meant to or not, a wrong is a wrong and if we pretent it isnt we turn the venom they doled out inward and thats way more dangerous then getting pi$sed. Getting angry and getting it out in a healthy way is the first step in healing and preventing it from repeating, plus it allows us to start taking care of ourselves vs getting sucked back in or suckered by the next PD
I am mad as Hell at my ex and part of it is from letting it pile up as long as I did. I did no one any favors by doing so and that includes her. My true healing started since I am mad. Before that, it festered