Relatioships - just reflecting

[Mie]

I have recently been thinking of my friends and relatives and their relationships. I guess in order to have some perspective. Of course we don't know what really is going on in other people's relationships... .but here's my little 'analysis':

- my oldest childhoold friend was 15 years with a narcisicist, nobody knew, she escaped when he destroyed her car with a golf club (tip of an ice berg), two sons, one depressed

- my other dear friend: 2 long relationships with alcoholics, now dating a married man ('don't care, I have a right for love too', too kids, so far so good (one terribly demanding teen though)

- brother: 15 years with depressed, bitter, dominating and self-centered alcoholic, separated when he got seriously ill (now sober and healthy, she in new relationship)

- a third dear friend: a few years ago finally separated (huge drama) after 17 years with a man who obviously had some personality disorder, now living with a charming alcoholic, who is now 'behaving terrible at times'!

- friend 4: career woman, since a few years dating a man who is 'about to get a divorce'

- friend 5: 52, single, dating a married man a few times a year

- friend 6: after 17 years escaped a narciscist, now dating an old friend and looking happy

- friend 7: after 13 years escaped a narciscist, recently married a man who became her business partner


Gosh! I could go on and on! The list of friends with normal (?) relationships is easier:

- my 2 cousins seem to have nice and harmonious family lives since years

- dear friends: a gay couple, together 25 years, probably healthiest relationship I have ever seen

- one friend 10 years with a caring man, one spoiled and smart child

I could continue the list with a few 'seemingly happy relationships but there's sure something going on'.

What was the point again?  Just trying to reflect.

My partner said to me once: 'Your friends are strong women, like you.' No, we are not, we're just magnets for crazy men.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[jedimaster]

When I told my mother the details about my uBPDw and said my intentions are to stay in the marriage and try to figure out how to make it work, she said, "You may as well; there are more of them than there are of us!" 

[flowerpath]

Ha!  I sure wouldn't even want to take a chance on living the same thing all over again with someone else! 

[waverider]

You probably know more pwBPD than you think. You just can't pick it as they dont affect you.

There are many "normal" people who can also make your life a lot harder than the pwBPD that you know.