Did your ex have an exotic disease?

[enlighten me]

This is not as ludicrous as you nay think. There is so much with tgese conditions that point to hormones. One thing that is common with both my exs and has been mentioned on here and BPD sites is an intollerence to oral contraceptives which are estrogen based. Pregnancy may shift the estrogen balance so therefore appear to cure the problem. If you goigle low/ high estrogen and its affects then you may see your exs ailments listed. Let me know if you do and what you find.

[hergestridge]

This is not as ludicrous as you nay think. There is so much with tgese conditions that point to hormones. One thing that is common with both my exs and has been mentioned on here and BPD sites is an intollerence to oral contraceptives which are estrogen based. Pregnancy may shift the estrogen balance so therefore appear to cure the problem. If you goigle low/ high estrogen and its affects then you may see your exs ailments listed. Let me know if you do and what you find.

Not as ludicrous as one might think, but still ludicrous!

My ex-wife's BPD symptoms were basically reduced by 90% when she was pregnant. I remember the first time she demanded a "talk" (I e I've been painted black again). It was six weeks after our daughter was born. So there is something to what you're saying.

Sex was smooth and uncomplicated during pregnancy, something it has never been otherwise.

Regardless is we're talking about somatization or not (and I think doctors opinions would go apart) that problem is almost overshadowed by the anxiety and anger they have when seeking treatment or when trying to communicate their symptoms to others. At least in my case, that soon became a bigger issue than the pain or the itch. And that is definitely related to BPD.

[Dutched]

No exw didn’t, but “suffered” from numerous physical complaints that came and went.

Her hips. Medial examinations, no result. Ordered to be active, walk, etc. and not to sit in certain postures.

Every time I addressed it, there was no pain.

Her neck and arm. Due to the mouse, of course, oh no, due to a bad chair at the office, or both?

Needed to do exercises of course, and not playing tennis. Never seen her doing exercises and continued to paly tennis. When addressed the complaints were gone… until months later. Hurried to the family doctor as this time something else was needed to be examined.  Same story.

Stomach and intestinal problems all of a sudden. Cause? A lack of fibre rich food…  Strange as we all ate the same. Well exw was very sensitive, always had been (all of a sudden). For a year or so exw needed some extras.

Like snow in the sun, it disappeared, never came back.

Her back, same story.

Anything else I forgot?

It is a way to get attention when a BPD feels inner turmoil but doesn’t want you to know (at that point). In fact they are silently screaming for your attention.     

[hergestridge]

Stomach and intestinal problems all of a sudden. Cause? A lack of fibre rich food…  Strange as we all ate the same. Well exw was very sensitive, always had been (all of a sudden). For a year or so exw needed some extras.

This did become a major problem in our relationship. My exwife would by tons of food that she claimed her was all her sensitive stomach could tolerate, but she only held diet for a day so most of it just went in the trash. She self-diagnosed all kind of intolerance and in the end I had to tell her that she would better let a doctor check her intolerance up and not just guess things. But no... .that would be pointless. Doctors just don't understand.

And as someone else noted here, if she was in a bad mood it all escalated.

Funny thing is she would tell me stories about how her father used to punish the family with disgusting food when he was in a vile mood. She never saw the connection. When she was dysregulating she insisted the whole family to go on a healthkick (which of course backfired if the person suggesting the "healthkick" is obviously doing it out of anger and frustration).

When she moved out I took a 80kg sack of outdated food to the city dump. She never let me threw away the bad conscious stuff either.

That solved the problem we had with flies too! 

[billypilgrim]

You believed this story? I'm not laughing at you, I know fully well how crazy we can become. They have to be totally insane to come up with such a ridiculous story!

To be very honest, yes I believed this story.

Does this now make sense why I became depressed, lost touch with my own feelings, lost interest in the world around me, and had to run from this relationship to save my own sanity     

This is unreal how similar you and I handled going through this.  I believed every word.  I took everything seriously.  I had been trained so well that I think I just knew better than to ever doubt anything she said in regards to herself.  Cleaning up after the mess after trying to point out that she could be wrong was much more difficult than just going with it. 

And the depression comment hit home.  I didn't realize how bad I had gotten until she dragged us to the marriage counselor to talk about how I work too much and play soccer too much and blah blah blah.  She had me convinced that I was truly the problem.  Per usual.  The counselor wanted to speak with me individually and brought up that I showed signs of depression.  I'd never even imagined myself as depressed.  Or anything but happy, though I know now I was absolutely miserable. 

But what did I do?  I pulled back even more from the things I enjoyed.  To be with her miserable existence, on the couch, watching TV.  I shutter to think how much longer and how much further I would have let this go on.  As heart wrenching as this month has been since she left, I'm very fortunate she left.  I have a life again. I've reconnected with friends that I thought were lost forever.  I'm active again.  I can leave the house after work and do things without fear of text messages or angry/cold treatment when I get home.  I don't have to walk on egg shells anymore.  And more importantly, no more signs of depression.

One thing that I think I will always remember about her though - and I hope this will be front and center if/when she tries to recycle - is that I brought up what the counselor said to me regarding depression to her shortly after the session.  I asked her if she would help me through it.  She sort of nodded but she never brought it up again.  She never seemed concerned.  She never did anything for me like a caring and loving person would.  The one time in 6 years when I truly needed something from her and reached out to her, she wasn't there.  And she never would have been and she never will be.  What the heck was I thinking.

[Deeno02]

Stomach and intestinal problems all of a sudden. Cause? A lack of fibre rich food…  Strange as we all ate the same. Well exw was very sensitive, always had been (all of a sudden). For a year or so exw needed some extras.

This did become a major problem in our relationship. My exwife would by tons of food that she claimed her was all her sensitive stomach could tolerate, but she only held diet for a day so most of it just went in the trash. She self-diagnosed all kind of intolerance and in the end I had to tell her that she would better let a doctor check her intolerance up and not just guess things. But no... .that would be pointless. Doctors just don't understand.

And as someone else noted here, if she was in a bad mood it all escalated.

Funny thing is she would tell me stories about how her father used to punish the family with disgusting food when he was in a vile mood. She never saw the connection. When she was dysregulating she insisted the whole family to go on a healthkick (which of course backfired if the person suggesting the "healthkick" is obviously doing it out of anger and frustration).

When she moved out I took a 80kg sack of outdated food to the city dump. She never let me threw away the bad conscious stuff either.

That solved the problem we had with flies too! 

Similar to my gf. Mommy, Daddy issues she never connected to her extremely large pile of steaming horse ___ she had for a life.

[Heartandsole]

I have noticed similarities with both my exs and what members have posted.

I would like to add my theory to this.

some are diversion tactics or for gaining sympathy but I believe a lot are real.

This I believe is down to hormone imbalances. There are a lot of things like fibromyalgia, CFS, thyroid etc etc that can be caused by hormones. The fact that these things are repoted by so many of us and like their behaviour seem to come from a playbook.

I believe this to be true as well.  Mine had Lymphoma week three of a 10 year marriage.  That for sure was real.  The Chemo was real, and the side affects were really bad for her.  A weak immune system has been the case for a long time, and it could be stress related, possibly from working herself up about stuff.  She has also had a really bad bout with a reactive arthritis type ailment which wasn't imagined for sure... .  She's allergic to all kinds of stuff, and her emotions make her sick (and I am to blame for her emotional state).

I have learned that what you think you feel, what you feel is real.  Feelings/emotions are a combo of electrical impulses and secretions of hormones and neurotransmitter chemicals... .  So I believe with this logic you can link up disordered thinking to dysfunctional health. 

Mine also turned to all kinds of alternative medecines, didn't trust the Western doctrine and we have spent a fortune chasing health from hundreds of dollars a month in supplements... .crystal bed meditations, reiki, massage, accupuncture, laser light therapy, meditation, yoga, herbal remedies, essential snake oils and all the rest. 

Recently since our separation she has turned to Psychics, Tarot Readers, Angel Talkers, Akashic Readings, etc.  I think it is very bizzare, but also try not to judge :'( but it's just hard to do sometimes.   

BPD/NPD coupled with Codependency and FOG= it's a hella bad combo and I thinks some things are physically manifested through  messed up thought patterns, and some things might just be made up!  Just my too sense.