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[RunForest]

I definitely broke up with him now.

I am living in Europe, speaking french, but I try to sum up :

I brought back his tools and things under his open garage when he was at work 8 days ago.

Then I didn't hear about him until a voice message this evening : hearing his voice , seemed drunk or under the influence of a joint or two things at once.

I'm scared because he is threatening, he said I could have call him to prevent that I brought his things and that I forgot the paper of his blood test results (that we did both after our first night together). But after having shown it to my doc I sent it back to him via snail mail.

I am sure that he forgot since marijuana and his mental disorder is making him lack of attention and few memory.

Then he told me with a sadistic tone, to bring the money back -around 300 USD that he gave me kindly, but I always told him I will refund.

I left a message back, saying that the blood test results are at his home and that I'll pay back at the beginning of 2015.

The rest of his voice message was bad ... .saying he loved me with sadistic voice before hang up ... .after a long dissertation on the fact that "I do not owe you anything at all... .but YOU owe me much more", and " you should not be jealous but it can be used for other" -about the blood test (pathetic as the woman that would want him in this state I do not envy).

I am scared because it is the first time he is obviously nasty and that he threatens me now he understood I would not give him a new chance.

He told me to come back to his home (40 minutes driving) with the money and the test.

As he didn't answer the phone, the sms I sent him last week was not gentle at all since I was angry and I gave him my views about me treated as attachment in his life while his alcoholic buddy was fulfilling his life : "... .Please stay with your FAMILY and your guy X  I don't want to hear about you NEVER"

I threw him away... .now how to manage his threats?

I have never used these words before nor attacked his family I meant these words but would have avoid to text him that... .

I have to say that he was never drinking when we spent time together during our relationship, he is like a derelict at the moment and I am afraid.

One day this summer he told me that he send and sms to his ex calling her "crap" for he lent her 4000 USD . Then the girl complained to the police and he told me about that and I was a shocked by his method.  

How  to speak to him?

How to manage to stop him from coming here? I don't want to call mayday to my neighbors , I would feel too ashamed and I have no friends around.

In fact I would have liked that we have a discussion face to face in a coffee. Do you think it is a good idea for a better way to separate ?

His neighbor is a association's relation to me, he warned me 2 month ago about my ex and that I should be careful. I don't even dare to take advice with him because I know my ex would know about my discussion in his back and that would increase his anger? Do you think I should? (this man is tired with my ex, but my ex is working for a very good friend of this man -who is not honest with my ex... .abusive relationships around him is another story)

[maxen]

hi RunForest.

why do you want to meet him face to face?

was his message scary enough for you to take it to the police?

[RunForest]

Hi maxen,

thanks for your reply that helps me to step back and see the situation from the outside.

It makes me remind it is legitimate not to be able to stand harassment... .

Thank you for the advice ... .too bad that I already deleted the disturbing message... .

If it happens again, I could try to warn him as if I still had the compromising message. (just afraid of his revenge if I do that! )

He would have had even more troubles if I had took it to the police because of his illegal use of narcotic.

He said on The Joker tone :" it is not because I smoke drug that I do not remember that you forgot to bring me back a little something... ."

[maxen]

If it happens again, I could try to warn him as if I still had the compromising message. (just afraid of his revenge if I do that! )

that sounds serious. different question then, do you feel safe, really?