I can see the pattern...

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

It has been 5.5 weeks since the breakup and 3.5 with complete no contact.

After taking a harder look at the situation, I can see his pattern. You see both of his previous relationships, lasted a little less than a year... .ours being the longest (2 years). He always told me that his previous ex's just couldn't let him go. Early on in the relationship, I revived a FB message from his ex letting me know that he was a cheater. Then again, when does an ex ever contact a current relationship partner for good reasons? It seemed odd considering she was already in a new relationship, and MARRIED (she was an au pair ... so who knows the real motives) but anyway he told me she was "crazy". I decided that the bus stops every corner, should he ever cheat on me... .never realizing that I would become more invested. Another    ignored.

It seems after the break-up she couldn't get over him. She caught him cheating (with suspicious messages according to her message, because she said that's why he was always so private... .with me he was quite open as I had passwords for everything, but where there is a will there is a WAY) but afterwards he was cold and indifferent. I'm not sure of the particulars but he was caught and she seemed to be having a difficult time letting go. The EXACT way he is with me, now... .which is why I refuse to make contact. On the difficult days, I try to remind myself that at least now I have some dignity left and contacting him (even to catch up) would forfeit my power.

I take comfort knowing the cycle will continue ... .until and unless he chooses to stop it. At least during our relationship he was informed of his BPD and his mother's issues. Hopefully, one day ... he'll use that as fuel to seek help for himself. Until then, he'll keep looking for validation externally and continue to loose all things close to him. So sad. He wants love, yet he self sabotaged the best thing(s) for him.

I think once I caught him red handed, even though "we were trying" to work through things, it was just too much work for him at that point. Reality hit and he doesn't do well with reality... .his fantasy world is easier to deal with.

[lovethebeach]

It has been 5.5 weeks since the breakup and 3.5 with complete no contact.

After taking a harder look at the situation, I can see his pattern. You see both of his previous relationships, lasted a little less than a year... .ours being the longest (2 years). He always told me that his previous ex's just couldn't let him go. Early on in the relationship, I revived a FB message from his ex letting me know that he was a cheater. Then again, when does an ex ever contact a current relationship partner for good reasons? It seemed odd considering she was already in a new relationship, and MARRIED (she was an au pair ... so who knows the real motives) but anyway he told me she was "crazy". I decided that the bus stops every corner, should he ever cheat on me... .never realizing that I would become more invested. Another    ignored.

It seems after the break-up she couldn't get over him. She caught him cheating (with suspicious messages according to her message, because she said that's why he was always so private... .with me he was quite open as I had passwords for everything, but where there is a will there is a WAY) but afterwards he was cold and indifferent. I'm not sure of the particulars but he was caught and she seemed to be having a difficult time letting go. The EXACT way he is with me, now... .which is why I refuse to make contact. On the difficult days, I try to remind myself that at least now I have some dignity left and contacting him (even to catch up) would forfeit my power.

I take comfort knowing the cycle will continue ... .until and unless he chooses to stop it. At least during our relationship he was informed of his BPD and his mother's issues. Hopefully, one day ... he'll use that as fuel to seek help for himself. Until then, he'll keep looking for validation externally and continue to loose all things close to him. So sad. He wants love, yet he self sabotaged the best thing(s) for him.

I think once I caught him red handed, even though "we were trying" to work through things, it was just too much work for him at that point. Reality hit and he doesn't do well with reality... .his fantasy world is easier to deal with.