They are pretty selfish people and its a shame there are children involved with her chaos. Bpd people tend to get bored easy, maybee it was you who wanted the wife house kids family ideal and she mirrored your way and tried on your lifestyle but it wasent enough. My BPDexgf is hanging with some right sharks and seems to love the partying and choas and drama its only gonna end with them canabilising each other, its the only time they stand a chance of getting really hurt when they find people the same as themselves. When the police and courts get involved if she spins right out of control she might look inwards but i doubt it they cant take the blame or shame.
Your not far wrong it's strange she seems to go for nice guy family life to bad boy type and neglect her kids then nice guy etc the father of her first 3 kids is very similar to me the father of her 4th is bad boy unemployed type think your right she gets board to easy and I do work long hours and we don't get to do much socialising the signs were there that she was getting board I think that's why she insisted on a break but then led to a break up with her fears of abandonment seems to be a pattern with her she went off the rails about 4 months ago then got a call from a freind and said she was in a bad way deep depression and I got her back on the straight and narrow I think it's a case of the whole identity thing but she was never that good at talking to me like most of them she is on the verge of loosing her children and of course I got the blame ! I've been NC for 2/3 weeks now but made it clear if she needs to talk I'm here but more for the kids then hers and said im not going to pick up the pieces this Time WHEN it goes wrong she goes thru freinds like thers no tomorrow! I thought the same thing same type of people can only lead to bad times ! Especially as she is craving all the attention and they get fed up with her !